Roundabout Counting on Starbucks For a “Boost in Business”

  SERIOUS NOOSE = Real, original, breaking news that is much funnier and truer than any honest noose we truthfully make up to break. To learn about other Serious Noose winners, click here. Rockford, IL – The much-talked about Main St. and

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Jawbone Found Behind Heater Has It’s Own Story

ROCKFORD – Old World dentistry and witchcraft has been discovered in a 6,500-year-old human jawbone.  A dollop of beeswax was found on the human jawbone that appears to be the earliest evidence of a dental filling. The jawbone was discovered in

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“Rockford Positivity” Candles Now Available – Light Up Your Dark Life & Negative Nights

Rockford, IL – Our second “Serious Noose” trophy goes to Candle Crest Soy Candles, located in scenic Rockford, IL.   The local small business unveiled their “Rockford Positivity” candles today on the internet.  The excitement took over our noose staff. The

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James the Wet Pussy Cat Mauls Alejandro the Latin Kings Servant

Rockford, IL – News broke over the scanner last night that screeching and screaming was heard in the northwest neighborhood near Huffman and Riverside where gang warfare along with the community’s fears are rising.  Sources have confirmed that an angry

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River District President Confronts Rockford City Council With Math and Logic

Rockford, IL – Rockford’s River District Association president, Gary Anderson, handed our City Council a big ol’basket of math–Rockford math problems–to figure out with a public statement on Monday Night.  RKFDnews.com has been provided a transcript of the public statement

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Poork Town: Artist Stabbed By Angry Eat-Local Lady Fan After Enjoying Red Lobster Cheddar Bay Biscuits

[hr] Poork Town is a special series from RKFDnews.com that focuses on what makes our community’s egos, stomachs, necks, legs, arms, butts and heads so large, poor, and proud. [hr]   Rockford, IL –  Extremely famous Rockord artist, Randy Warballs, was

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