16 Things You Never Knew About the Rock River

Sure, you know about dead bodies and the Waterfront Festival. You’re a smart Rockordian with some college experience and a firm grip of Wikipedia. You drink fancy beers at that stimulus package brew house and eat pizza at the City

Read More

Local Musician is Patient Zero of a New Less Appealing Form of Ebola 0

Coughing? Sneezing? You probably have Luttrell Ebola. Local scientists have traced the virus back to a singer/song-writer by the name of Derek Luttrell. LE (Luttrell Ebola) hasn’t yet claimed any lives, but it has cost out local economy hundreds of

Read More

Chinese Currency to Replace American Dollar in Rockford and Winnebago County

Rockford, IL – City of Rockford’s council voted to replace the American dollar currency in exchange for the Chinese Renminbi (REN) Yuan currency.  A new currency designed by Chinese economic consultants for our county–Yuan Schwen Ren Barry–has been introduced to assist

Read More

Gorman, Mayor Barry, China, and Hotel Infiltrates Magic 8 Ball Again

Rockford, IL – Gorman & Company, based out of Wisconsin, has hired Mayor Barry Morrison according to our limited edition Spencer’s Gifts’ Magic 8 Ball. Gorman is behind major poverty-profitable projects in the Rockford region including the hotel stuff, Chinese investments,

Read More

Rockford DMV Locations Will Close in Observance of April Fool’s Day

That’s right folks! Rockford area Department of Motor Vehicles locations will be closed April Fool’s Day, Friday April 13th. This is the first time April Fool’s has fallen on Friday the 13th in 37 years! I know, It seems like

Read More

Another Love Letter From Cherry Valley’s Jenny Clobber to Rockford

Rockford, IL – We received another love letter today from Jennifer Clobber of Cherry Valley, IL, who wanted to send her eternal love to the city she longs for for Valentine’s Day. Dear Rockford, IL I watch you from afar

Read More