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815 Day is Almost Here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rockford, Illinois — True story, and not fake: 815 Day is almost here! 815 Day is August 15th. It is the official regionally lopsided retail day for selling and buying real, original, unfunny, biased merchandise that advertises Rockford, Illinois in a positively marketed socio-psychological manner.

If you’ve been the recipient of multiple job layoffs, vandalism, theft, racism, nepotism, poverty, privileged unethical behaviors— this isn’t your day. Think positive because we’re here for you! Let’s make 815 Day a real, original, truthful day!

Are you the real, original Rockford that’s sick and tired of being lied to by all of the people named Larry, Paul, Diego, Linda, Glenn, Thom, Doug, Charles, Johnny, Jarrod, Pablo, Britney, Barry, Jay, Gordon, Jenny, Dan, Rick, Mark, Tami, Louisa, Pam, Ned and Craig?

Guess what, you can celebrate 815 Day by buying our book, “Believe”. It’s not available in downtown Rockford or anywhere in Rockford for that matter because—as we’ve been saying—FUCK DOWNTOWN ROCKFORD. USA!

Our book is available nationally on Amazon Prime or through Barnes and Noble, and it’s also available in random independent book stores throughout the United States, but not in Rockford. HAHA. NOPE. Wanna know why? There isn’t an indie book store here! People in Rockford don’t read books! They read Facebook!

Here are the links to buy our book if you’re a real, original Rockfordian in need of real, original stories that celebrates 815 Day the right way— by punching it in the face with a book made of paper and ink.

Amazon

Barnes and Noble

— Neil Jaffe

Our book, Believe, available on Amazon Prime now! Click here!



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