by Barry The Beautiful | June 17, 2014 9:05 AM
Rockford, IL – A new study conducted by the Applebees chain headquarters with administrative officials from The Rockford School District have concluded that it’s extremely likely that “87% of The Rockford teachers who do art together after-hours eventually get drunk together and then act like immature dipshits together.”
“What my After-School Assembly found to be most shocking about the report were the amount of affairs, rumors, domestic altercations and broken friendships that are created AFTER doing and creating the art before the libations,” offered Don Johnsan (not related to Ron), Union Director of The Rockford Art Teachers After School Assembly.
The Rockford teachers that do the art and enjoy libations were unavailable for comments due to summer vacation and extended weekend benders. It is Tuesday, however–find an Applebees today after doing art to enjoy libations with The Rockford teachers.[2]
You will know art when you learn how to be righteous and condescending like The Rockford art teachers are after a few libations at Applebees or a summer city festival.
– Theodore Lepolli
Source URL: https://rkfdnews.com/applebees-reports-that-teachers-that-do-art-together-get-drunk-together-in-the-rockford/
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