Posts From Chet Fairway
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Patty the Goose, May She Rest In Peace
Rockford, IL — Patty the Goose was one of Rockford’s favorite birds. She ate carp, fresh out of the Rock River. Pedestrians walking on the bike path considered Patty their friend. Patty the Goose hand-delivered soup to City Council meetings
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Potato Ketchup Added to Rockford Area LINK Card Options
Rockford, IL — The Rockford-area community asked for ketchup and potatoes to be added to their LINK card benefits, and the state of Illinois’ lawmakers answered by developing a new product line with the Heinz company that is only available
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Pokemon GO Blamed For Rockford’s Webcam Porn Industry Layoffs
[Thank you to Josh M. of Rockford, IL, for emailing us this noose-story.] Rockford, IL — Several of Rockford’s local webcam “porn star” ladies are out of work due to Pokemon GO. Mass layoffs are being reported all over Rockford and on the
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#Trickford Escort Discount!
Some local businesses are celebrating the City of Rockford’s “Trickford” marketing campaign differently than intended. The region’s most reputable escort services are pimping their finest services for 50% off of their regular prices throughout the rest of the year. Pimps
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Another Love Letter From Cherry Valley’s Jenny Clobber to Rockford
Rockford, IL – We received another love letter today from Jennifer Clobber of Cherry Valley, IL, who wanted to send her eternal love to the city she longs for for Valentine’s Day. Dear Rockford, IL I watch you from afar
Read MoreA Valentine’s Day Letter From Jenny Clobber to The City She Loves
Rockford, IL – We received a love letter poem today from Jennifer Clobber of Cherry Valley, IL, who wanted to send her love to the city she loves for Valentine’s Day. Dear Rockford, IL I watch you from afar From
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