Posts From Chaz "Jet Lag" Stalmach
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Beware! Rockford Craigslist Add Seeks Pets For Fetish Porn
54/male/Rockford I’ve been experimenting with small rodents recently. It all started with my cousins pet mice. They’re so cute and cuddly! Then I decided to bite the bullet and try some larger critters. Gerbils and Hamsters were pretty easy. I
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Facebook, Helping Grandma Stay Racist
The past ten years of social media advances have done a lot for Bigots, Racists and Geese. They’re no longer alone and afraid to honk, or afraid to marginalize an entire group of people, based on their race, gender identity
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Facebook Prayers Saved Grandma’s Life
Rockford- Betsy Stienbecker was dead. She flat-lined Saturday night surrounded by her loving family. Grandma Stienbecker had suffered a heart attack- most likely from all the Beffatillos she’d been consuming. After nearly an hour of trying to resuscitate Grandma, doctors
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Post-Haste Grump-Core Knew-Metal Drummer Takes Control of Rockford Music Scene
Ricky Klan performed a ritual that hasn’t been seen since the 90’s to gain control over the entire Rockford music scene. The final blood sacrifice was completed early in the afternoon on September 17th. We do not have complete details
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Rockford Homeless Man Identifies As Goose- You’ll Never Guess Why!
Rockford has been very concerned with where to poop and who to poop with recently. A problem that used to be so simple… You got giblets- poop over there. You got a dangler- poop over here. I went out for
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8 Dead, 15 Injured After Local Musician Discovers New McDonalds Sandwich
“I warned Him. I told him,‘You don’t know how the internet will react if you post that picture. People could get hurt…’ He just didn’t care.” -Terry Dactyl Rockford, IL— On the evening of September 9th, 2016, a local musician—who
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