Battle for Middle Earth Climaxes to a Pause

Battle for Middle Earth Climaxes to a Pause
Rockford battles for Middle Earth. Everyone reached a climax to check their smart-phones.  We'll have more on the battle's results when the smart-phones or the battle victims die.  We'll know more later.

Rockford battles for Middle Earth. Everyone reached a climax to check their smart-phones. We’ll have more on the battle’s results when the smart-phones or the battle victims die.

Rockford, IL – The battle for Middle Earth reached a climax in Rockford last night.  Everyone moaned to a pause to check their smart phones for a few minutes.

Minutes are now hours.

Instagram feeds became overloaded touch-screens with photos of doggies, foods, face creme ideas, studio equipment, live bands, landscapes, cityscapes, roads and a few smiling faces.

Facebook news feeds streamlined the latest thoughts from Middle Earth’s grid servers to iPhones and Androids.  Everyone put down their forks and drinks to check their other life online.

Many decided to tweet their thoughts on their whereabouts with Twitter.  Others decided to retweet the latest Taco Bell sickness victim.

Some of us watched and waited for Middle Earth to explode once more while a few members of our staff were talking to each other, face to face.  Our two most internationally famous journalists, Chief Tchad Beale and Jay Vannigan, talked to each other about northern California girls:

 “Northern California girls say everything happens for a reason, Chief.  A northern California girl told me to throw away my parka and now I am freezing,” said Jay.  “I know, Jay, parkas keep me warm, too,”  replied Chief Beale to Mr. Vannigan.

The majority of Rockford shared their thoughts and feelings online while Middle Earth came to a climax.  A long moan and then the stand-still, hands fumbling for their smart phones and anxiety pills.

We’ll have more to report from the Battle for Middle Earth when the smart-phones or the people using them die.  Whichever happens first.

You will learn more when we know less.™

– Chet Fairway


Tags assigned to this article:
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