Beesechurger® Named Official City Sandwich by Register Star, City Council, and Ad Firm Consiglieres

by Nate, Brother of Gene | August 6, 2018 5:58 PM

[1]Rockford, Illinois — You asked for it, and you got it. It’s official, Rockford. A local favorite sandwich, the Beesechurger®, was named the city’s official sandwich by important paid-for operations— The Register Star, City Council, and local Ad Firm Consiglieres.

One catch. It is not available downtown. (Good. Fuck downtown.)

[2]

Tom Rotello, owner of the Olympic Tavern, Rockford, IL. The family establishment has been open since 1945 on the corner of Fulton and Main Street.

The Olympic Tavern[3], one of the oldest and most revered gathering spots in the entire Northern Illinois region, owns the patent on our city’s official sandwich. Tom Rotello, its owner, says:

It can’t be prepared, cooked and served anywhere else in the United States. Dare to mimic our sandwich, and I’ll find you. I’ll tie you to a chair with my lawyer. We will waterboard you and call you Greg or Becky—and if you disobey us, we’ll sue you and still call you Greg and Becky. Ok?

Ok!

We talked to Mr. Rotello’s son, Zak, who oversees much of the tavern’s day-to-day operations about the Beesechurger’s success.

“Wendy was working a table of eleven beer reps one night. She came up to me and said, “Zak, I got eight guys and three gals at a table in the back asking for two dozen burgers with two slices of cheese on the outsides of each buns on each. The buns have to be inverted, you know, like turn the buns over so their tops touch the meat? Do you think the kitchen can do this?”

Zak paused and laughed, adding:

“Ok. So. Let me see… They want to rearrange the cheeseburgers.” Again, laughing, trying to hold it together, he agrees. “The kitchen’s gonna have a fit. YES. Give ’em their Beesechurgers— cha ching I thought!

[4]The Beesechurger has been a popular hit, joining the tavern’s famous “No Bread Fred” meal, a burger without a bun served with melted cheese and delicious veggies on a hot skillet. For people who like dead bird instead of cow, there’s a No Meat Pete chicken version—usually that version is for ladies. LADIES WHO EAT KALE! YUCK.

The elder Rotello confirmed that the sandwich is available but not on the menu. “You have to ask for it. That’s the catch. If one of my servers laughs at you, that’s the catch. If we don’t laugh at you, that’s ok. Ask again. Ask until we laugh.”

RKFDnews asked why it’s not on the menu.

Our menu software for editing, deleting and adding seasonal changes and week night specials before printing off new copies doesn’t have an option for turning off the auto-spell correct setting. It’s pretty annoying. I wanted to rename the No Bread Fred to Know Brad Fread, in honor of local hero, Brad Fread, and it wouldn’t let me. Major software flaw. I contacted Corel Draw about it,” said Zak.

[5]

Zak Rotello, son of Tom, High Lord Priest and Brand Ambassador

Corel Draw hasn’t responded to the youngest Rotello’s inquiry, but he did confirm that “the Beesechurger® is here to stay thanks to the city’s support and recognition.

The RKFDnews editorial staff wants to say thank you to city council, the Register Star staff, the digging deeper crew on TV, and all of the local ad marketing and PR firm reps and bosses who have pay-for-play arrangements with the city and the newspaper, especially downtown, for naming the Beesechurger an official city sandwich. It’s nice to see support for something that’s not downtown.

The Olympic is on the corner of Fulton and Main in Rockford, Illinois. It’s been there since 1945, and it’s not downtown. Enjoy a Beesechurger or No Bread Fred!

— Girden Bahdems

Que?

Endnotes:
  1. [Image]: http://theolympictavern.com
  2. [Image]: http://theolympictavern.com
  3. The Olympic Tavern: http://theolympictavern.com
  4. [Image]: http://theolympictavern.com
  5. [Image]: http://theolympictavern.com
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