Big Balloon Go Pop Over Rockford, River Sharks Eat Family of 6
by JoAnne Rankles | October 7, 2013 1:48 PM
Family of 6 Fly to East Side of Rockford in their Hot Air Balloon for a Picnic Before Being Sent Back To The West Side By Angry East Siders. Their Hot Air Balloon Popped Over the Rock River. Upon Landing on the Water, River Sharks ate the family of 6. No survivors.
Rockford, IL – A large hot air balloon carrying a family of six took off from the west side of Rockford on Sunday morning and attempted to fly to the east side of Rockford. A crowd of east-siders gathered in awe at the corner of East State and Perryville to protest the family’s attempt to land in the Best Buy parking lot for a lunch-time picnic. The balloon had to retreat back to the west side of Rockford after fearing the eastsiders would shoot their balloon down with their AK-47s and bows n’ arrows.
Upon attempting their overhead return to the west side of Rockford with their picnic basket and children in tow, the balloon went pop over the Rock River near the Auburn Street bridge. Traffic stopped for three hours and people gathered on the bridge to witness the balloon’s descent onto the river. The scent of the food trapped in the picnic basket lured three great brown river sharks from below the murky water towards the drowning family of six. People watching from both sides of the Rock River and from atop the bridge screamed and cried for the unknown westsiders while the river sharks ate them. As of this morning there are no survivors.
When we learn more you’ll know less.™
– JoAnne Rankles
Two of 3 River Sharks feasted on a family of 6 whose hot air balloon popped over the dangerous Rock River in Rockford, IL
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Source URL: https://rkfdnews.com/big-balloon-go-pop-over-rockford-river-sharks-eat-family-of-6/