RKFDnews.com Archive — Real, Original, Excellent Stories For Mediocre People

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Beephatillo’s – New Rockford Restaurant to Fulfill Voters’ Beef and Pork Demands

Rockford, IL – Our staff here at rkfdnews.com has decided to open up its own Rockford area fat food restaurant, Beephatillo’s. Please help us make our local mystery train, hotel and casino dreams come true by buying one of our artist series

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Free PDF Download of our Debut Book, “Believe”

“Believe“, by the RkfdNews staff​, is our nationally published debut book. It was released on December 1st, 2014.  Stories about Rockford and its proud American community deserve to be virally shared (for free) to help celebrate our great nation’s upcoming birthday! In

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Rockford City Council Votes in Favor of Forcing Community to Give Free Hugs to All Jays, Gregs, Gordons, Steves and More

Rockford, IL – Mayor Barry Morrison’s city-wide proposal to force every citizen to hug anyone named Steve, Jay, Dan, Gordon, Dave, Ed, Larry, Linda, Heather, Paul, Pablo, Pawelek, Jay again, Kent, Sparky and Mark was approved in an astounding 11-1 vote by Rockford’s City Council this

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RKFDNEWS EXCLUSIVE: Michael Kleen, 2013 Mayoral Candidate, Reveals New Book: “Rockford Confidential”

Rockford, IL – Michael Kleen, author and former 2013 city of Rockford mayoral candidate, has contacted our staff with exclusive excerpts from his forthcoming 2015 book, Rockford Confidential. Kleen briefly explained his forthcoming book to us: “Rockford Confidential is a fictional

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People To Creep: 👏 Bob LaBlaw 👏

The RKFDnews staff trolls the Northern IL’s anti-social media landscape each year for local celebrities to feature. 2020 is sure to be an exciting year for sharing memes, recipes, family photos, tasteless jokes, sarcastic hashtags, event invites, and political opinions.

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Rockford Ad Firm Celebrates Five Years In Business At Chili’s

3.7 out of 5
Rating: 3.7

Rockford, IL – Rockford area ad firm, Extinguished Inc., celebrated their five year anniversary as a business last week.  The firm’s founding owners and life partners, Jerry Smith and Chad Ups, treated the staff to a half-day off by forcing

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I Used To Be A Man, Now I Am A Sea Otter

4 out of 5
Rating: 4

Rockford, IL – Timothy Krill was his own man for 27 years of his life.  A local carpenter who built homes with his bare hands for himself, his family, and friends.  The first home he remembers building was at the

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Is Your Poop Backed Up? You Have Rockford IBS—Barry Will Help You

3.2 out of 5
Rating: 3.2

“My wife, Linda, poops regularly everyday. She does not have Rockford IBS because she listens to me and I help her with her diet. I am here to help all of you with Rockord IBS!” — Barry Seversyn, RKFDnews Guest

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New Hononegah High School Mascot Ideas Presented to Rockton and Roscoe Communities by Rockford Area Branding Agencies

5 out of 5
Rating: 5

Controversies surrounding the petitioning launched by the student body at Hononegah High School to request a mascot rebranding heated up on Facebook and wherever else that white people from Northern Illinois go to online to share their racist opinions. A

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DIGGING DEEPER, LONGER, STRONGER: Newspaper Subscription Rates Increases With New Fonts and Magnum XL Text Sizes

Drastic design layout changes for all of the country’s daily newspaper print editions takes effect on October 1st, 2018. The changes includes replacing legible, classic serif fonts — Times New Roman and Baskerville — to local favorites, Papyrus, Bank Gothic,

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