RKFDnews.com Archive — Real, Original, Excellent Stories For Mediocre People

Back to homepage

Beephatillo’s – New Rockford Restaurant to Fulfill Voters’ Beef and Pork Demands

Rockford, IL – Our staff here at rkfdnews.com has decided to open up its own Rockford area fat food restaurant, Beephatillo’s. Please help us make our local mystery train, hotel and casino dreams come true by buying one of our artist series

Read More

Free PDF Download of our Debut Book, “Believe”

“Believe“, by the RkfdNews staff​, is our nationally published debut book. It was released on December 1st, 2014.  Stories about Rockford and its proud American community deserve to be virally shared (for free) to help celebrate our great nation’s upcoming birthday! In

Read More

Rockford City Council Votes in Favor of Forcing Community to Give Free Hugs to All Jays, Gregs, Gordons, Steves and More

Rockford, IL – Mayor Barry Morrison’s city-wide proposal to force every citizen to hug anyone named Steve, Jay, Dan, Gordon, Dave, Ed, Larry, Linda, Heather, Paul, Pablo, Pawelek, Jay again, Kent, Sparky and Mark was approved in an astounding 11-1 vote by Rockford’s City Council this

Read More

RKFDNEWS EXCLUSIVE: Michael Kleen, 2013 Mayoral Candidate, Reveals New Book: “Rockford Confidential”

Rockford, IL – Michael Kleen, author and former 2013 city of Rockford mayoral candidate, has contacted our staff with exclusive excerpts from his forthcoming 2015 book, Rockford Confidential. Kleen briefly explained his forthcoming book to us: “Rockford Confidential is a fictional

Read More

815 Day is Almost Here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rockford, Illinois — True story, and not fake: 815 Day is almost here! 815 Day is August 15th. It is the official regionally lopsided retail day for selling and buying real, original, unfunny, biased merchandise that advertises Rockford, Illinois in

Read More

North Main and Riverside Construction Continues to Slow Down Drivers and Speed Up Fast Food Sales

Rockford, Illinois — Time is money. So it’s said. Road construction in Rockford, Illinois, is putting a new positive spin on the life metaphor. RkfdNews’s partners, Digging Deeper Into The Black Hole That’s Located Inside Our City’s Mind Department, has revealed that time

Read More

Beesechurger® Named Official City Sandwich by Register Star, City Council, and Ad Firm Consiglieres

Rockford, Illinois — You asked for it, and you got it. It’s official, Rockford. A local favorite sandwich, the Beesechurger®, was named the city’s official sandwich by important paid-for operations— The Register Star, City Council, and local Ad Firm Consiglieres. One

Read More

Rockford Clock Tower Finally Demolished After Years of Telling The Wrong Time

Rockford, Illinois — A Rockford icon came tumbling down today. The Clock Tower, located off of the East State Street / I-90 Exit, hasn’t told the right time in years despite millions of interstate drivers seeing it as their official

Read More

LeBron Chooses Akron Instead of Rockford for LeSchool

Rockford, Illinois — It’s official. Rockford wasn’t chosen again. Athlete and philanthropist superstar, LeBron James, has chosen his hometown of Akron, Ohio to open a free public school. LeBron’s school, I Promise, was funded and developed by The LeBron James

Read More

Popular Rockford Band Signs With RCA Records

Rockford, Illinois – Local rock n’ roll musicians who go by the name, Name The Moon, has signed with RCA Records. It’s the first major label signing by a regional band since The Good Year Pimps signed to Universal Records in

Read More