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Election 2016: RKFDnews Endorses Gorak, Lord of the Sixth Dimension
Rockford, IL — RKFDnews proudly endorses Gorak, Lord of the sixth dimension, for President of the United States. We believe he will help all of us with Making Rockford great for America on the Internet again.
We spoke to Gorak today about what our city of Rockford can expect from his leadership should he be elected in November:
“Hmm. Well. There’s a black man with a black cat living in a black neighborhood. He’s got an interstate running’ through his front yard—you know, he thinks, he’s got it so good. Ten feet away from him there’s a woman in the kitchen cleaning’ up evening slop, and he looks at her and says: “Hey darling, I can remember when you could stop a clock.”
I, Gorak, Lord of the sixth dimension, will stop the clock for them because this is America, for you and me; and this is also Rockford, we’re something to see, baby. You got it, Rockford, Illinois and America, home of the free—I promise little pink houses for you and me. Oh yeah, for you and me; Gorak, Lord of the sixth dimension.
Shit I fenda do don’t end there for all you mother f*****s from Rockford, Illinois.
Now look over there: There’s a young man in a T-shirt listenin’ to a rock ‘n’ roll station. He’s got a greasy hair, greasy smile—he says, “Lord, Rockford must be my destination! My momma told me when I was younger,”Boy, you’re gonna be president” But just like everything else, those old crazy dreams just kinda came and went—and here I still am, in Rockford.”
That’s right, I, Gorak, will be your president, boy, because this is America, for you and me; and this is also Rockford, we’re something to see, baby. You got it, Rockford, Illinois and America, home of the free—I promise little pink houses for you and me. Oh yeah, for you and me; Gorak, Lord of the sixth dimension.
Vote for me, Rockford.“
Making Rockford great for America on the Internet again.
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