Poork Town: Community Prayers Answered, Portillo’s Coming To Rockford

by Ron Kites | October 14, 2013 10:01 AM

Poork Town is a special series from RKFDnews.com that focuses on what makes our community’s egos, stomachs, necks, legs, arms, butts and heads so large, poor and proud.

Rockford, IL –  Gerrard Himmis, 30, has been praying for Portillo’s restaurant to come to Rockford for at least 20 years:

“I have prayed everyday for a Portillo’s to come to Rockford.  I am one of many Rockfordians with a body that needs Portillo’s to sustain the pride I’ve worked on with my community.   I cannot tell you the tears I cried for Jesus and Rockford when I heard my prayers were answered. I will be the first one waiting for the first juicy beef and sausage combo with peppers, a large fry and chocolate shake.”

The popular Chicago area eatery owned by Dick Portillo has been receiving these prayers for years on Facebook[1] and through an online site that a few proud locals are responsible for[2].  We tried to contact Dick for a statement but we’re pretty sure our email ended up in the Portillo’s spam folder.

Where is the Portillo’s being built at you’re wondering?  We have no idea, you Rockford area fat-asses, and we don’t care. Whatever.  Please take your pride and comfort in the fact that your prayers are answered.  Soon, you will be able to eat your prayers again.

You will definitely learn more when we know less about fast-food restaurants coming to make Rockford people fatter than they are.™

– Ron Kites

 

Source URL: https://rkfdnews.com/fat-town-community-prayers-answered-portillos-coming-to-rockford/

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