Breaking News

Georgia Man Hates RKFDnews Stories but Loves Atlanta Falcons and Pink Ponies

Georgia Man Hates RKFDnews Stories but Loves Atlanta Falcons and Pink Ponies

falcons

Rockford, IL –  Chad Mowberg and his family miss Rockford.  The Mowbergs moved to Cumming, Georgia, a few years ago to be closer to their favorite NFL team, the Atlanta Falcons.  Southern team spirit combined with a northern passion for their hometown, Rockford, drives the Mowbergs to Facebook.com to keep tabs on their beloved Illinois city.

“I don’t like you, Rkfdnews. You are naughty to The Rockford.  I can’t believe anyone shares and likes your stories,” said Chad from Cumming, GA, to his Facebook friends.

pink-ponyMr. Mowberg was asked how he intends to stop the RKFDnews staff from writing and sharing stories about The Rockford on the internet and he told us:  

“My friend Ray Gramcracker and I are going to make sure we stop shares and likes on the Facebook together. I will fight with the adopted southern spirit that I’ve inherited from watching my favorite team, the Atlanta Falcons. Ray can report articles as well as private message or email your staff’s friends and peers to deliver internet messages hidden inside of my little pink pony dolls.  It’s my mission to save the city I miss and love from you on the Facebook with my comments and opinions.  It is my mission to make Cumming, GA, the official sister city of Rockford, IL if I can stop RKFDnews!”

Our chief editor Tchad Beale released a statement to our staff today from sunny Wisconsin telling them to, “Feed the ponies some big pizza pies because dat es amore! Ha ha ha, ROKEFART!”

You will sure as f**k learn more when we know less.™

– Chet Fairway


Tags assigned to this article:
cumming georgiapink ponyrkfdnewsrockford

Related Articles

New City Poll Reveals Rockfordians Are, In Fact, Insane

Poll HAHAHA What games did you most like to play outside in the summer of 69 with Bryan Adams?  Kick

Community in Turmoil as Fake Facebook Profiles Destroy Rockford’s Social Media

“We all know who you are. You’re not funny and your negativity is only bringing this community down,” says Dick,

No comments

Write a comment
No Comments Yet! You can be first to comment this post!

Write a Comment

Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below:

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.