“Rockford in 2013 is very similar to when I took over Germany in 1933 – I see opportunities!”
- Señor Führer, aka Adolph Hitler, interviewed below by RKFDNews.com editor, Chief Tchad Beale.
Coffee With Adolph
Chief Tchad Beale = RKFD | Señor Führer = AH
RKFD: Hello, Senor!
AH: Hi, Tchad, nice to meet you.
RKFD: Please, call me Chief Tchad.
AH: Ok, please call me Señor.
RKFD: Ok. Can I buy you a cup of coffee?
AH: Oh, wow, yes please. Rockford has lovely coffee. I don’t know what the natives are putting in the grounds but I believe it is why poverty here contains so many opportunities. Have you seen all of the daily meetings that go on here? There are many not struggling, always time for coffee and talking, eating, talking about making life better. It’s a very hopeful place for powerful people like me you see.
AH: I have risen from the dead to survey the Rockford, IL region as well as Detroit and Flint, MI. I heard the people crying for help, but I also heard business men and politicians laughing. I prefer to laugh, too, Chief; so, I followed my nose to what smelled the best and it led me to Illinois! I love it here. Your country’s President lives here, too! So much opportunity. That old geezer, Lincoln, and I have had many laughs with Reagen, They like to mock me, “Señor, are you sure you weren’t born in Illinois?!” Oh, the times we have in the ether-world. We talk world politics and we all agree despite are differing marketing agendas and initiatives we acted on successfully, that a city and a nation with so many poor people rising means opportunities! I love a good opportunity when I see one.
RKFD: Do you see one here in Rockford?
AH: Why yes, Chief. I see many opportunities to take advantage of those opportunities–and some are already doing it. I really enjoy what the wealthiest men and women from India have done with America since I lost the battle for earth in the 1940s. China, too. Wow, talk about taking back what America built on. Your people practically handed it back. It’s been fun to watch with Reagen, that old Illinois boy.
RKFD: Gipper? That Reagen? Our ex-President and Hollywood actor? One of the leaders of the Red-Scare, McCarthy-era, anti-communism movement, that went after his own Hollywood peers with ill-conceived assumptions? That guy?
AH: Yes, Chief. Wow, did he pull off his greatest acting gig or what on America? He turned on his own industry, set innocent people up for public humilation, and then managed to hire the greatest dictators your country’s been too blind to title as such–the Bushes, Cheneys and all of their friends! Your other old boy, Lincoln, is having a hard time with it because his idea of America has been shattered. All that hard work he put in trying to be fair to people. And Roosevelt, wow, both those boys can’t understand what your leaders have become. I, however, am impressed, Tchad.
RKFD: It’s Chief, Señor. Please.
AH: Sorry, Chief. You have a little bit of the old ‘pride’ in you don’t you? Your region is loaded on civic pride. It’s the first scent that got me; it’s trail is rich with delusion!
RKFD: Ok, point taken. So… any reason based on your experiences with the world why this is happening to Rockford and America in a post-industrial world?
AH: Many, Chief. Such is the fate of mankind when it is ruled and led by ideas rooted within the possession of more wealth through resources and industry. At any expense lest you wonder. As far as industry goes, you’ve lost most of it and now you’re trying to take back what you sold away. What overtly proud and greedy families and their brethren sold away to put in their own trust funds for the future of their own. It is rare when one invests in the community at large anymore. This is what built every great country, I did it–1933 when I took over Germany, we were in a pool of depression and unemployment. By 1938, however anyone may have felt about my marketing agenda to raise the nation under my leadership, it worked, and people worked. The world took notice and got jealous, eventually they wanted what I wanted and that’s what led to my and Nation’s collapse, as well as that of my allies. Though, many of them were forgiven in the world’s eyes much quicker. People forget that Mussolini was my ally. Italy was an ally but those traders sold me out when they realized my marketing agenda was successful, and their’s wasn’t.
RKFD: Your marketing plan?
AH: Yes. I restored the people. My plan was flawless. I came from poverty, Chief. I knew the people and I knew their struggles very well. They finally had jobs again after I was in charge for a few years. I created jobs, though I’ll never tell you how; and then the world came to take what my nation had earned with all of that hard work wasted. Where do you think all of that money my Nation earned went, Chief?
RKFD: Um, I don’t know… Texas?
AH: Some of it, yes. Nice guess. For the rest of it? I’ve been trying to figure that out since my own exile. Reagen and Cheney’s dad keep telling me they know where some of it went. Many of your own wealthiest Americans got richer overnight… with what of which I earned and fought for. American factories booming with manufacturing, your own people now employed with full time jobs, and many industries benefitting from it. Real-estate, suburbia, booming! The American Dream marketing plan practically stole from my book of marketing ideas! Granted, there’s been far less genocide–but it’s been veiled in other ways with political agendas. You think the management and handling of Korea, Vietnam, Aids, Crack, 9-11, New Orleans, Iraq, Afghanistan were coincidences, slip-ups, or attacks of evil performed in an effort to achieve human catastrophes? Please. Evil has roots and agendas, initiatives, Chief. White people know exactly what I’m talking about. Your country is veiled by bloodshed and deceit for the possession of resources, land, and money. Your own Native Americans were bludgeoned for possession of the idea of the American Dream. Your people are so far drunk and high with American pride that it’s ridiculous at this point. This is what has led to your economic and social demise. Your best leaders have no money, and they are rising… be prepared, Chief. This is a warning as history often repeats itself.
RKFD: This coffee doesn’t taste so good… that actually gave me chills, Señor. I’d hate to think we’ve been steered by evil intents with our leadership.
AH: Good leadership means making deals with the devil. I had to to rebuild Germany. Some may not have liked my style, but it worked well because I sold it well. Don’t worry, Chief, be positive, smile more and look at the bright side! Ahahahhahaha, I love Rockford! Misery truly loves company. It has taken me years to find a place to resurface and I see nothing but opportunities here. And laughs! I love the laughs. That is something that Germany pre-1933 was lacking. Rockford has so much laughter to offer.
RKFD: I like laughs, it allows me and my staff to deal with evil all around us. Some call it apathy or indifference and label it negative, however-we beg to differ that we acknowledge the truth in ways that makes us and those immediately around us first feel better, versus the reality of always being broke, unemployed, tired of lies from leaders we didn’t vote into office… and those complacent community weirdos. I mean, have you overheard or seen the marketing campaigns going on in town with these clowns pretending about how great it can be again? Like it was in the 50s and 60s?! That’s a long time ago. Those days are gone, Señor. Do you see that as our demise, too?
AH: Yes and no, Chief. Laughter in your kine’s case, and delusional marketing in others’ cases, are the cures for many, and this is how you and your people handle all kinds of evil… and trust me, it’s all around you.
RKFD: Really? Do tell–
AH: Look all around you! Your people have been bludgeoned by unemployment and crime. Much crime is unreported because it’s right in front of your eyes most often and takes years to expose it’s corruption. Your leaders, Chief, top to the bottom of the state are not capable of the crimes that are being reported from within inner city environments. Jesse Jackson’s son stole money from his own supporters to buy fur coats and Mikael Jackson collectibles–because he could, because your people gave him that money. That’s crazy. People think I was crazy? That’s crazy, Chief. The most heinous crimes are being performed in so many kinds of authoritative offices and coffee shops, oh man, the cloaks of board meetings are funny, too. So many unethical crimes are being setup to bludgeon the middle class further at board meetings! And the people–ah, the leaders–are practically giving away the American Dream. Selling it off one promise at a penny a piece for a half penny in return.
RKFD: How so?
AH: America practically gave away everything they worked themselves out of by the 1990s, Chief. Lincoln, The Roosevelt boys, those are your heroes. The internet is an informational fluke, a pit stop for lies and a refuel for the greediest investors and creators amongst us. Technology has practically bludgeoned many industries and the one it should help the most isn’t moving quick enough–medicine.
RKFD: One of the few points of interests I can agree with you on today considering your historical track record. Do you like what’s going on? How does Lincoln feel about it?
AH: Lincoln and I laugh all the time about this. It’s something we agree on 100%. Mankind is so stupid from where we’ve been sitting and listening, watching. This facebook and twitter nonsense is corrosive to intelligence. Imagine all of the efforts were put in to Medicine and Agriculture vs. Social Media. Can you, Chief?
RKFD: Yes, I can. Seems like many of our leaders are driven by ill-advanced motions in Technology, and the people are all about it as well. Complete missteps by the common majority.
AH: Nothing but missteps, Chief. You can read about them missteps in books, too–the kind you can hold in your hands. The kind of books that don’t need batteries or a USB cable.
RKFD: I like books to hold in my hands still because I don’t have enough money for batteries and cables. Heck, used book hunts are my favorite. With all the reading that goes on with technology, you’d think people would misstep their way to used book stores for .50 cent gems. I still prefer working hard for my photos with film. Makes the end results less like big macs and more like a piece of silver you found. Instagramm and camera phones, digital cameras have made shitty photography into the next AIDS virus. So many cultural and economic missteps by mankind.
AH: Hmm, I disagree, I love Instagramming portraits of myself to the world–but the missteps, yes, Chief, it’s not just mankind–America, too. Your people put an actor in office. How in the hell did that happen? Gipper and I often laugh about that one. Sometimes we get Abe to crack one, but never the actor joke. Your people employed a Bush for 20 years in a high office job! The best public official, tax-payer job in America! That’s hilarious. Heck, the list of corporate fools that sold off America in the last 40 years is so long, where would I start?
AH: China owns half your banking system and you keep giving them work. Meanwhile poverty and unemployment in old manufacturing towns like Rockford are black sheep marks on the American economic map. Y’all in deep shit, Chief. China jumped on those opportunities when they could. India sends over their wealthiest. Heck, Sweden practically took over Rockford and kept the wealth to themselves by insulating what they could earn and keeping others out. Your town’s leaders vetoed an interstate and a university from being built IN the city, not outside of the city.
RKFD: Ok, true.
AH: You know, I’d like to think that a few of my favorite German exiles had something to do with those decisions as well. Your best leaders, the Italians, were marked by government officials for crime and arrested, or disappeared into a cornfield. There’s a decent system that gets work done without all the talky talk. They at least keep crime to themselves until the government and law officials gets involved. That’s when it gets messy and expensive for the rest of the community.
RKFD: Well, there is an argument that organized crime in America has functioned better than our own government until the law gets involved. Heck, despite their territory issues and payouts, the mob’s often more supportive of small businesses than say, the IRS and our own government. They prefer corporations and lobbying for their own payouts and freebies–you know, tickets to Bulls games or Redskins games. Funny how the working class has to pay for those events. To make up for the lobbyists.
AH: Ahhhh, yes, Chief. See, you see it very clearly. The rest of your elitist kine are performing crimes in broad daylight to the middle and lower classes.
RKFD: So, what are you going to do about it, now, if anything? Are you hear for the laughs? Coffee? Our beautiful misery? Do you like misery, Señor? Do you enjoy it’s company as I’ve enjoyed your’s today?
AH: Thank you, Chief. You are nice Jew, strangely poor. How did that happen? Let’s talk off the record.
RKFD: No, we can talk about it on the record. Actually, I’m not Jewish, I look it. People have assumed I am and I play along with it because I don’t have time to educate the uneducated f*cking morons who make those slurs for free when I can’t pay back the education I earned due to the morons being in charge of companies and hiring, everywhere. Intellect is another deadly sin, sidenote. America sold off the idea of investing in the educated a long time ago. Burning out the next bright mind before the age of 22 is the plan. Burn out, rehire, burn out, rehire. We are the new slave labor system in action. And another thing, maybe you forgot, Señor, but 9/10 people forget or don’t know that being jewish is a religious thing–not an ethnic cultural DNA thing.
AH: Ah, yes… I did forget. Thank you, Chief.
RKFD: No problem, stupidity gets old 1/10 times for me, you happened to hit the jackpot. So, again, what are your intents with Rockford and being here?
AH: I have enjoyed the corruption for far too long to not get involved with the pillaging of the poor for OPPORTUNITIES! What not a better example than Rockford, IL for opportunities in the 2000s? I see misery, I see poverty, I see company to keep and I see nothing but opportunities!
RKFD: I see you’re referencing a city-wide feel good marketing campaign–”MISERY Loves COMPANY”–?
AH: Yes, I am. I LOVE it! I love how city government bodies are doing business with marketing professionals in Rockford, IL, to make everyone feel better about themselves and the conditions they’re in. REAL, ORIGINAL poverty and unemployment. The crime is ridiculous, but the best crimes aren’t seen by the public’s eyes; only their wallets know what I’m implying. I love it! Nothing but opportunities to capitalize on. CREATIVITY = CAPITALIZE! It’s what every great leader can count on; that is, many poor people have better ideas than them and they know it! I intend to–as they have as well–to capitalize from the arts community. I love the lack of rebellion your arts community has. They’ll believe everything! Heck, I will tell them this: ”You are my plan’s backbone. I need your work, your ideas, your energy now. I promise to split this one dollar bill with you and your family when we are making our own breads and soups to feed the world!” The potential to sell my marketing agenda for poor people’s labor in exchange for my eternal profits are HERE. Opportunities to rebuild the poor by making them feel productive again are here. I see the potential for rebuilding Rockford as I did for Germany in 1933, but I’ll need support. Do I have RKFDNews.com’s support, Chief?
RKFD: I can’t answer that on behalf of my board, but to assume their vote–no.
AH: Oh, you have a board, too?
RKFD: Yes. The differences with our board of economic development and arts thievery planning is that we are all unemployed, real, original, educated individuals without financial backing to deliver the noose as we do before we break it for you.
AH: Breaking the noose… I get it, Chief. Very profitable idea! I promise you breads and soups if you support my causes–
RKFD: No. We make our own breads and soups.
AH: Hmm, I see. Well then–I guess YOUR COMPANY doesn’t love MISERY!
RKFD: Nice one, trademark it or we will–
AH: My idea, Tchad–
RKFD: Not until you protect it–
AH: I will kill you, Tchad, I promise you this!
RKFD: I know, you have your ways and they work for you and many others. Not for others, though.
AH: Tchad, I will smoke you and eat you!
RKFD: Ahahahha, I KNOW–gross, ew! WTF, man, not funny. You made me laugh. Do you know how many facebook likes we will lose now?
AH: Ahahahhahha. Just joking with you. Well, I am sorry to hear that-the facebook likes stuff. So sad, just pay for more likes like other people do? I like you for a Jew, Tchad.
RKFD: It’s Chief Tchad, Mr. Führer. And I’m not a Jew. Thank you, however. I consider it a compliment.
AH: You’re welcome, Chief–it’s Señor to you, but you may call me Adolph from here on.
RKFD: Thanks, Adolph. I should get going, I have work to do and it sounds like you do, too.
AH: Yes. I doubt there’ll be much opposition from the community to my marketing agenda considering the community’s aptitude for believing ANYTHING they’re told to feel better about real, original problems that I once saw face to face in Germany.
RKFD: Well, Misery certainly loves Company in Rockford.
AH: Yes it does and so do I! HITLER loves ROCKFORD! Will you endorse me and my marketing plan, please? I promise to save the city from poverty, crime, unemployment, complacency, pride, greed and eternal ruins.
RKFD: Hmm… being a non-biased provider of useless information that RKFDNEws.com is, I’m sure I’ll be able to run this story but I must mention on behalf of my staff that we can’t endorse you or your plan. We want nothing to do with you or your plans. Please understand that we share the same beliefs for the entire city’s marketing crusade to feel better vs. facing problems and taking responsibilities like an adult. Rather than avoiding reality–us, the miserable, unemployed, pillaged and fed up community minorities that we now feel we are.
AH: You can always leave, Chief. My people did. It made America stronger at some point.
RKFD: Yes. It’s in our plans. Til then.
AH: Yes, til then. Thank you for the Rockford coffee, Chief Tchad. It JAMAICAN ME CRAYSEE!!!!!
RKFD: You’re welcome, Señor Führer. Good luck.
AH: With what?
RKFD: With your plans! You know, marketing plans that incorporate Cheap Trick, Tshirts, coffee, stickers, ETSY, quilting, videos, vegetables, low-hanging fruits and more– we at RKFD call it Reinventing the square.™ Rockford, IL! We have a store coming soon to assist minority realists that can’t afford to enjoy misery’s company.
AH: Oh…. yessssssss. Nice one! Wow, that’s good, you better protect that one or I intend to profit from your hard work, Chief.
RKFD: We did. You will fit in here, Rockford; people like you are abundant. Evil intents to profit from others hard work is fashionable and ‘in’–you’ll be a hero because the wrong way is the right way in Rockford, IL. Anyway, thank you for your time, Adolph. I have to go.
AH: That is wonderful to know… the fitting in… excellent! I wish you luck with you and your company’s eventual migration to another state and city. The low-hanging fruits of all of your labor will flourish with health from the absence of misery’s company! I should drink more coffee and have more meetings with city officials, real estate moguls, and business leaders now.
RKFD: Yes, you will like them. They came from other countries at some point to. Again, thank you for your time, Adolph.
AH: You’re welcome, Chief!
RKFD: Bye, bye.
AH: Auf Wiedersehen! I love that song!
– Chief Tchad Beale
Rockford, IL – RKFDNews.com editor, Chief Tchad Beale, sat down for an exclusive cup of coffee to talk about Rockford, IL’s economic conditions with one of mankind’s greatest villains and marketing masterminds, Adolph Hitler– also known to comic book fans as El Führer. He will be referred to throughout this interview as Señor Führer to protect history from the truth.
We apologize in advance to historians, family, and friends who escaped WWII Europe for safer company, that is, America’s company. We want to thank all those immigrants who migrated to America before WWII, during, and after. You helped us rebuild the country. You helped us climb out of the depths of our own economic damnation. You defined the ideas of democracy and freedom. Unfortunately, times have changed. All of that has been undone in the last 70-80 years by greed and corruption. Somewhat striking and similar to what led Germany pre-1933, as well as Eastern Europe along with the rest of western civilization, into ruins.
We have history to thank in Rockford and many post-war industrial cities that were once booming with opportunities. As of 2013, we are still fortunate of sorts and absent of most heinous crimes that drove countries to power and then ruins from within; but we are in as much peril caused by greed, corruption, poor ethics, and overall societal injustices. Poverty, crime, unemployment, and delusional, complacent, community retardation caused by overtly positive civic pride is running amok. We are in trouble, and we the people are the victims of elitist crimes, which often goes unnoticed (or lawfully unfunded) and protected by power and wealth.
The core of social peril is rooted in the mythical 7 deadly sins. All of them: wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony. We the people are all victims of these mythical sins. Our leaders–everywhere throughout the world–have to specialize in at least one of the deadly sins to be appointed the captain of any ship, country, village, etc. There’s no way around it… one must truly think the world of themselves to be in charge of the people–you.
Take our own state for example. Illinois is loaded up on caffeine, pride, greed, wrath and the rest. Our leaders have one intent, to invest in themselves and their closest allies–not you the people. The middle class has been bludgeoned by many of the deadly sins our so-called leaders practice. There is no middle class; there is depression, poverty, crime and the list is too long to waste here. Naysayers will yell, “you have the power to vote, therefor you have the power to make changes.” Why are the selections of people we choose from so awful? Money. One must have a little bit of that evil possession called money to make a run at changing anything. One must be capable of handling evil in deceptive, careful, christian ways. Christian as in, good intentions. Poor people have good intentions, rarely the power to handle the evil acts that money provides.
Why else would the spirit of Adolh Hitler want to visit Rockford, IL for a cup of coffee to talk business with Chief Tchad Beale? He sees opportunities. He sees plenty of opportunities: ”Rockford in 2013 is very similar to when I took over Germany in 1933 – I see opportunities!”