Breaking News

Local Swedes Not Worried As Trader Joes Says F**k No To Five Points Neighborhood

Local Swedes Not Worried As Trader Joes Says F**k No To Five Points Neighborhood

760

Rockford, IL –  The popular Trader Joe’s grocery store, which is nationally owned by Aldi’s chain, politely said “f**k no, we’re not coming to Rockford.”  Community internet organizers (click here) and local Swedish people were reeling from the sad news this past week.

Trader Joe's Will Be Nice In Rockford, IL

Trader Joe’s Would Be Nice In Rockford, IL, but So Would a Pony Show

“I guess we’ll have to start another online petition to replace this one,” said a neighborhood Swedish man and Trader Joe’s enthusiast, Thorne Salssen.

The chain was being petitioned the idea to move into the old Hilander / Schnucks grocery store, located in the historic five points neighborhood. The neighborhood is known for its Swedish immigrant transplants with old world money hidden in modest homes with high property taxes.

In recent years, the neighborhood has made a financial transition from old world Swedish money to new world Swedish money to help keep Rockford poor everywhere else in town through private real estate transactions and family trust funds.

Christina Fransborger, a single Swedish woman in the five points neighborhood said, “I believe The Rockford can overcome such negativity placed upon our proud neighborhood by Trader Joe’s. One day we’ll have an Aldi’s grocery store in the five points neighborhood that my Swedish brethren can spend our old world money at.  The Rockford will have the last word.”

If you’re interested in wasting more time on the internet trying to know more about Swedish immigration to Rockford of Illinois, click here.

Oh my. You will learn more when we know less.™ 

– Ron Kites



Related Articles

Garnished Landscapes: Rockford, IL, Public Art Series Wants Your Photos!

RKFDnews is proud to introduce a public art series called “Garnished Landscapes” that involves you, the internet people of Rockford,

SEE YA

Dear Readers, I am writing to inform you that next month or possibly in December, I will be leaving RKFD

Local News Outlets Are Finally Talking About Cheap Trick

Rockford, IL – City wide news agencies and the Rockford tourism bureau have finally decided to support hometown rock band, Cheap Trick. The

1 comment

Write a comment
  1. oldfolkie 31 May, 2014, 21:01

    ζ:-)>

    Reply this comment

Write a Comment

Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below:

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.