Breaking News

Post-Haste Grump-Core Knew-Metal Drummer Takes Control of Rockford Music Scene

Post-Haste Grump-Core Knew-Metal Drummer Takes Control of Rockford Music Scene

Ricky Klan performed a ritual that hasn’t been seen since the 90’s to gain control over the entire Rockford music scene. The final blood sacrifice was completed early in the afternoon on September 17th. We do not have complete details of the requirements for the ritual, but we know that it involves geese genocide combined with ambiguous threats via social media users.

Mr. Klan is the drummer for a metal band whose name hasn’t been determined yet due to the design ornamentation of the band’s logo. He has already banned twenty-seven bands from performing in Rockford ever again—including Cheap Trick. Klan is banning rock groups that choose to perform original songs while practicing political correctness.

Ricky stated that he wants “a fertile music scene that supports civic pride racism, geese genocide, tee shirt sales, internet marketing, and belittles women and men for wearing tight, bedazzled jeans similar to what the people have in Belvidere and Roscoe. Rockton, too, bruh.

Klan may have struck a mighty blow to respectable musicians in the Rockford region, but the internet has already started the slow, painful process of tearing him into a new, digital a$$hole- not to be confused with the Rockford band, New Digital @$$Hºlé.

We hope Rockford can destroy this monster on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook, so that each of us can make Rockford great again for America on the Internet.

— Chaz


Tags assigned to this article:
Cheap Trickmusician

Related Articles

Tom Cruise Not Moving to Rockford, IL – Downtown Scientology Hotel On Hold

Rockford, IL – Sources close to Thom Cruise have confirmed that he is not moving to Rockford, IL, to redevelop abandoned

#Trickford Escort Discount!

Some local businesses are celebrating the City of Rockford’s “Trickford” marketing campaign differently than intended.  The region’s most reputable escort

Rock River Raft Race Under Fire After Dozens of Geese Barred from Entering

Wednesday, June 28th. Feathers have been ruffled. A number geese have gaggled together to issue an official complaint to the

No comments

Write a comment
No Comments Yet! You can be first to comment this post!

Write a Comment

Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below:

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.