Tag "rockford"

Back to homepage

815 Day is Almost Here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rockford, Illinois — True story, and not fake: 815 Day is almost here! 815 Day is August 15th. It is the official regionally lopsided retail day for selling and buying real, original, unfunny, biased merchandise that advertises Rockford, Illinois in

Read More

North Main and Riverside Construction Continues to Slow Down Drivers and Speed Up Fast Food Sales

Rockford, Illinois — Time is money. So it’s said. Road construction in Rockford, Illinois, is putting a new positive spin on the life metaphor. RkfdNews’s partners, Digging Deeper Into The Black Hole That’s Located Inside Our City’s Mind Department, has revealed that time

Read More

LeBron Chooses Akron Instead of Rockford for LeSchool

Rockford, Illinois — It’s official. Rockford wasn’t chosen again. Athlete and philanthropist superstar, LeBron James, has chosen his hometown of Akron, Ohio to open a free public school. LeBron’s school, I Promise, was funded and developed by The LeBron James

Read More

Trump Says RKFDnews Book Taught Him How To Tell Very, Very Good Stories

Rockford, Illinois— Mister President Trump admitted on 97.5 WZOK FM radio (Rockford, Illinois) this morning that he learned everything he has about producing internet stories from a local media powerhouse, RKFDnews. Us. Yep. Eat that, Rockford Ponies. Mister Trump told

Read More

Trump Tweets to Rockford: Start Feeding Homeless Now

Rockford, IL– You might not see this story in your local newspaper, but homeless men and women are already making decisions about which back yards and trash cans they will visit this winter thanks to a tweet by Mister President

Read More

Trump’s Bus Drives Right Past Rockford to Freeport

Rockford, IL – The President’s cavalry was seen driving past Rockford, IL earlier this month.  The 1.1 million dollar bus, along with a companion bus and a cavlary of vans cruised on I-90, right past Rockford, IL. “The decision to

Read More