Teen Forced Down, Tattooed Against Will

15 Dec, 2013

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Rockford, IL – A gang of ex-teachers and laid off factory workers shocked a teenager with a tazerstick and tattooed “Rockford” on his forehead in a sickening attack.  Edward “Eddie” Edwardson, 18, was left for dead by the gang who also “battered him with eggs and flour,” said Rockford Dream Police.

The terrifying assault happened while Mr Edwardson was staying with friend Nancy Newtweenie, 43, earlier this year in Rockford. She suddenly turned on Mr Edwardson and launched the attack with three friends, Richard Dongberg, 61, Zed Chin, 51, and Lorrie Haswern, 73.

The two women pushed a stun gun into Mr Edwardson’s genitals and shocked him while the men tattooed him. He was left with “Rockford” on his forehead and “I need a job” on his chest.  The group are then alleged to have tied his hands and battered him around the head and arms with at least a dozen eggs and some flour.

Edwardson told RKFDnews, ‘They put the tattoo on there like I just didn’t care. They was like, ”This is what you’re going to get. We are sending a message to the city officials!,” and “you’re going to walk around with this because we are out of work and we need respect.” I tried to push my way off of them and they kept on holding me down harder.”

Dream Police said that Mr. Edwardson was taken to Rock Cunth State Park in Machesney Park after being tattooed.

There the gang taped together his hands and struck him with a baseball bat until he was unconscious.  Mr Johnson said that when he came round he staggered to a nearby trailer park where he was able to get help.

“I walked probably about a mile. I crawled and walked. I was, like, ”I don’t think I’ll be able to live with this on my forehead I mean if it was like the word Rapist or something but not this not this,”” Edwardson cried.  He spent a number of days in intensive care before being released from hospital.

The four suspects are still in custody. A judge denied them bail. Dreams Police has identified Richard Dongberg as a laid off factory worker and part-time tattoo artist who is known locally as The Donger.  They seized four tattoo guns, nine tattoo needles, and 17 bottles of tattoo ink from his studio in Beloit.

Rkfd Dream Police Detective, Marty Martinson, said that “both women admitted that they used the stun gun. We’ve never seen a rape this bad, let alone a tattoo attack.”

Mr Edwardson has now had the offensive tattoos covered up with a Tasmanian Devil and started working one day a week.  He has realized that dreams can come true if you are willing to go after them despite where one lives.

“This young man has learned life skills that he needs to be positive and independent, not only the skills he seeks to be employed,” said Local Alderman, Lance Wapalapek.  “He saved enough money to purchase a bike and now rides himself back and forth to work. He also puts a portion of his paycheck into a savings account each week. He is truly grateful for the opportunities set forth for him and has worked hard to achieve his dreams.”

We here at RKFD News love uplifting stories and fluffy kittens.

– Jay Vannigan