Breaking News

Trump Says RKFDnews Book Taught Him How To Tell Very, Very Good Stories

Rockford, IllinoisMister President Trump admitted on 97.5 WZOK FM radio (Rockford, Illinois) this morning that he learned everything he has about producing internet stories from a local media powerhouse, RKFDnews. Us. Yep. Eat that, Rockford Ponies.

Official portrait of President Donald J. Trump, Friday, October 6, 2017. (Official White House photo © by Shealah Craighead)

Mister Trump told the morning DJ, Nevets Nonnahs, and his faithful caucasian fans (self-entitled soccer moms and lazy unemployed men):

“People will believe anything if you tell them a story that comes from your heart to share in a tweet or on the facebooks.

I spent years and money hiring private investigators to observe city government and business leaders within the little village of Rockford, Illinois, and how they kept their peasants fooled and insulated on false promises while swimming in poverty, poor business ethics, crime, racism, nepotism and unemployment. They made poverty, pride, and hate profitable!

Very, very great.

Then along came RKFDnews in 2012 on the social medias, and they have been making Rockford Great Again for America the only way that they can by representing their city with very great, great, nice stories. I love their stories.

People will believe anything if you give it to them for free. RKFDnews gives people free stories. I give people free tweets. Like all of America today, the people of Rockford have proven to be completely ungrateful for free stories.

VERY, VERY BAD!

RKFDnews is very very great at making people believe everything they read on the internet and in their book, and these are the same people who blame RKFDnews for what they believe. That’s on them, the people. Dumbos.

Thank you, RKFDnews, you are great for America and Rockford and for believers!”

Wow. What an endorsement for our book sales. Thank you, Mister President Trump!

—Ron Kites

Buy the RKFDnews book on Amazon Prime or Barnes and Noble now to make Rockford greater for America.


RKFDnews book, “Believe,” available on Amazon Prime now! Click here!


Tags assigned to this article:
97.5believe bookfbirockfordsteve shannontrumpwzok

Related Articles

SPECIAL REPORT: Where Were You When Rockford Scanner Lost Its Sh*t?

By Andy Whorehall, Guest Contributor I was taking a mid-afternoon shit – patiently taking care of the morning coffee and

Where’s Rick? There’s Larry! #3

Rick Nielsen Sighting provided by Lee Bottoms, Rockford, IL: “My boy Gourden and I were so bored on Saturday.  We

No comments

Write a comment
No Comments Yet! You can be first to comment this post!

Write a Comment

Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below:

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.