Breaking News
City Leaders Ask For More Free Bedtime Geese Stories
Locals are wondering about the geese and why they’ve chosen to take up residency in our
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Locals Reminisce of Burnt Building That Has Sat Vacant Since 1978
Downtown Rockford’s poor, old, brick Building (which sat predominantly vacant since 1978) has caused locals to
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Expired Pasta Sauce Melts Furniture Beams at Downtown’s Huge West Side Ristorante
Provolone Ferne Ristorante Cucina Kök’s west side grand opening has been cancelled due to the horrific
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Rockford Asks, “Why Don’t We Get a Fancy Pipeline?”
The controversial construction of the Dakota Access Pipeline is a call to action for many environmentally
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Facebook Prayers Saved Grandma’s Life
Rockford- Betsy Stienbecker was dead. She flat-lined Saturday night surrounded by her loving family. Grandma Stienbecker
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8 Dead, 15 Injured After Local Musician Discovers New McDonalds Sandwich
“I warned Him. I told him,‘You don’t know how the internet will react if you post
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We Sorry, Downtown Rockford — Free Baked Ham Soup Certificate Download!
RKFDNews Stories have emotionally upset the locals, downtown leaders, tourism bureau experts, public charity accountants, social media directors, my mom, your dad, journalists, editors, media operatives on the dole, project development specialists, audio engineers, videographers, church goers, Jimmy Johns’ CEO, and PR/marketing/ad firm bozos.
We are praying for downtown and its emotional health after the horrific events of 6/25. Please pray with us. (10 seconds, pause, breathe, think about pizza, fried chicken… Baked ham soup, ok, that’s what you deserve? That’s what you need to feel better, Rockford? Done, prayer granted!)
We are also so sorry that you people believe in dragons, but we are concerned that it hurts your internet feelings. To prove how sorry we are for your downtown internet feelings, here’s a free baked ham soup certificate to our favorite downtown ristoranté! Good for a year beginning TODAY. You’re welcome, and thank us later.
We are still praying for downtown, pray with us?
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Related Articles
Burger King Robbed
At about 1:10 a.m., three hungry suspects entered the Burger King at 7510 E. State Street. Two of the suspects were armed with dark squirt guns and they robbed the employees at squirting point. No one was injured during this robbery and the food was protected….
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Local Ad Firm Owner Decides To Become a Pony
Rockford, IL – Local ad firm owner and internet-mobster, Ray Gramcracker, has decided to become a pink pony with his
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Believe: Debut Book by rkfdnews Available Now!
Press Release, December 14th, 2014 “Believe,” the debut book by rkfdnews is now available to purchase. It is available in print
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