Blonde Rockford Mom Attacks Shoppers With Lawnmower
ROCKFORD, OF ILLINOIS, OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, OF NORTH AMERICA, OF EARTH, OF EVERYTHING ELSE THAT’S LAUGHING AT US – A local woman (blonde, single mom, nice body, etc.) started a lawnmower and chased people away from sales racks this morning at the local J-TarMart. She also began stabbing employees and macing family members, including her own daugher, trying to get the best post-holidays deals she could to resell on ebay.
“People were screaming and crying but no one cares as long as our sales are up, no big deal”, said store manager, Don Dolittleford.
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– Jay Vannigan
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