Breaking News
Bye bye 2021 happy 2022 rockford smells still New Year: Covid Update
People with COVID-19 have had a wide range of symptoms reported – ranging from mild symptoms
...0I Used To Be A Man, Now I Am A Sea Otter
Rockford, IL – Timothy Krill was his own man for 27 years of his life. A
...0City Leaders Ask For More Free Bedtime Geese Stories
Locals are wondering about the geese and why they’ve chosen to take up residency in our
...0Locals Reminisce of Burnt Building That Has Sat Vacant Since 1978
Downtown Rockford’s poor, old, brick Building (which sat predominantly vacant since 1978) has caused locals to
...0Expired Pasta Sauce Melts Furniture Beams at Downtown’s Huge West Side Ristorante
Provolone Ferne Ristorante Cucina Kök’s west side grand opening has been cancelled due to the horrific
...0Rockford Asks, “Why Don’t We Get a Fancy Pipeline?”
The controversial construction of the Dakota Access Pipeline is a call to action for many environmentally
...0
Election 2016: RKFDnews Endorses Gorak, Lord of the Sixth Dimension
Rockford, IL — RKFDnews proudly endorses Gorak, Lord of the sixth dimension, for President of the United States. We believe he will help all of us with Making Rockford great for America on the Internet again.
We spoke to Gorak today about what our city of Rockford can expect from his leadership should he be elected in November:
“Hmm. Well. There’s a black man with a black cat living in a black neighborhood. He’s got an interstate running’ through his front yard—you know, he thinks, he’s got it so good. Ten feet away from him there’s a woman in the kitchen cleaning’ up evening slop, and he looks at her and says: “Hey darling, I can remember when you could stop a clock.”
I, Gorak, Lord of the sixth dimension, will stop the clock for them because this is America, for you and me; and this is also Rockford, we’re something to see, baby. You got it, Rockford, Illinois and America, home of the free—I promise little pink houses for you and me. Oh yeah, for you and me; Gorak, Lord of the sixth dimension.
Shit I fenda do don’t end there for all you mother f*****s from Rockford, Illinois.
Now look over there: There’s a young man in a T-shirt listenin’ to a rock ‘n’ roll station. He’s got a greasy hair, greasy smile—he says, “Lord, Rockford must be my destination! My momma told me when I was younger,”Boy, you’re gonna be president” But just like everything else, those old crazy dreams just kinda came and went—and here I still am, in Rockford.”
That’s right, I, Gorak, will be your president, boy, because this is America, for you and me; and this is also Rockford, we’re something to see, baby. You got it, Rockford, Illinois and America, home of the free—I promise little pink houses for you and me. Oh yeah, for you and me; Gorak, Lord of the sixth dimension.
Vote for me, Rockford.“
Making Rockford great for America on the Internet again.
Related Articles
Man Jump From Bridge After Being Called a F***ing Idiot
ROCKFORD – River Police and state officials are searching for a person who two witnesses said jumped off the Jefferson
Burger King Robbed
At about 1:10 a.m., three hungry suspects entered the Burger King at 7510 E. State Street. Two of the suspects were armed with dark squirt guns and they robbed the employees at squirting point. No one was injured during this robbery and the food was protected….
The Rockford Spotted Cow Tee – Profits Breakdown
Here are the profits breakdown. You have until July 28th, 2014 to pre-order 50 shirts. It won’t be available
Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below: