Partier Overdoses From Krockadyle Drug – Krokodil™ Inventor Furious at Rockford Party People
Krokodil™ was invented from the blood of alligators. Rockford partiers ripped off the inventor’s strain to create and sell a clone of it called Krokodyle. One is now dead and two have been reported as being hospitalized for abusing the rip-off drug. The inventor of Krokodil™ is furious at Rockford.
Rockford, IL – He is certainly the type of person who does not like to party. It’s no wonder that the Krokodil™ inventor, Igor Nahallaha, has spoken out to RKFD News about a “Rockford idiot steal my alligator medicine invention and make bad gator blood!” A local partier overdosed on a rip-off of his prescription drug this month.
The genius created the iconic new drug “to support my family,” he told us. “For people that like that kind of gator high, I’m sure that it met their bayou needs. Until now of course… f*cking party people from Rockford, Illinois, ruined it for me and my family. Rockford is ruining my life. I thought Krokodil™ would be our way out.”
Several months after Nahallaha created the original Krokodil™, local hoodrats and drug vendors started selling a new version of his drug called Krockadyle on the streets of Rockford. One man is now dead and 2 others have been reported as being hospitalized for abusing the rip-off drug.
The 59-year-old inventor now works as a dildo salesman because of Rockford, He told our staff, “I wish I could feel the responsibility weighing down my pockets. I’ve not gained a dime from any royalties or anything like that because Rockford partiers had to go and copy my solution. Rockford partiers put me and my family out of business. My wife Janita is back working at Denny’s. Thanks, Rockford. F*cking a**holes.”
– Jay Vannigan
Related Articles
Chasing Cars: How do you get your child to stop?
Rockford, IL – Do you have a problem with your child chasing cars? If your child continues to chase cars there is a very good chance he will soon get hit by one. This is a serious problem that needs to be addressed. It is best to try and avoid this nasty habit in the first place by not encouraging he or her to chase anything. How can you accomplish this?
City Prepares to See Art and then Drink Beer – Fall ArtSeen 2013!
Rockford, IL – The very popular city-wide event, ArtSeen, is going on this weekend in the Forest City of Dreams
Rockford Daylight Hours Goes Into Effect Tonight
Rockford, IL – This is a public service reminder from RKFDnews.com to the residents of Winnebago County to set back their
Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below: