Report: City Leaders Launch Online Campaign To Increase Offline Sexy Time

by JoAnne Rankles | March 30, 2014 11:50 AM

Rockford, IL – Online positivity has been heavily trending throughout Rockford’s business and city government sectors since 2012 to increase the community’s emotional tweets, posts, videos and internettting stuff on social media.  The city wide effort for celebrating the city’s exceptional mediocrity on the internet was taken to another level this week–a loving level.

Rockford area medical professionals have teamed up with legal professionals to form the online campaign #RockfordSexyTime.  The group includes surgeons, radiologists, dentists, pharmacists, phlebotomists, all kinds of therapists, practitioners and assistants, registered and certified nurses joining up with lawyers, judges, investigators, paralegals, clerks to make more online love for Rockford on the internet.

Lisa Robles, a veteran R.N. and spokesperson for #RockfordSexyTime, says, “We believe that taking the time to enjoy more sexy time on the internet in Rockford is necessary for helping offline sexy time.  We have determined that there is not enough love making going on after we’ve tweeted, posted, photographed our meals, children, and liked stuff all day.”

Donald Graham, a local litigation lawyer, agrees with Robles:  “We are encouraging the people of Rockford to enjoy themselves more on the internet by using the hashtag #RockfordSexyTime because online mental masturbation is becoming a huge problem for the city of Rockford and our leaders.  The community’s offline sexy time is suffering. We want to help cure it with promoting more offline masturbatorial love making sessions after their day on the internet looking for a job or making Rockford feel better is over.”

Dr. Frothstein concludes the health needs for the city campaign, “My medical peers and I have had a wonderful time in Rockford partying with lawyers and nurses after our work day on the internet is done. You wouldn’t believe the amount of fun we have because we have the money and everyone else doesn’t.  Here’s a little tip, nurses are a wonderful time when they get together to party after work.  Don’t marry one.  It’s like they’re God all of a sudden. Now then, shall we take this party offline?”

Do it on the internet with #RockfordSexyTime to do it to yourself and loved ones, today!

– JoAnne Rankles

 

 

Source URL: https://rkfdnews.com/report-city-leaders-launch-online-campaign-to-increase-offline-sexy-time/

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