Rockford is a Great Place to do Free or Underpaid Work for Wealthier People and for Sharing Positive Vibes, If You Disagree It’s Ok, You Can Do Art and Be an Artist Who Does Free and Underpaid Work For Artists So they Can Pay Their Bills While You Slowly Kill Yourself For Free but Don’t Worry, Everything Will Be OK if you Stay Positive and Smile

by Darby Appleby | November 19, 2014 10:43 AM

what-the-duck-ground-floorRockford, IL – In an effort to transform the city of Rockford, IL, and its wonderful people into a top 25 city by the year 2025, community and business leaders are offering lower class people (who were at once considered middle class), including the unemployed and overtly worked but underpaid, those working two part-time jobs to barely pay rent and health insurance while technically serving the business community as a contractor with exceptional work experience but limited hardware, tools, funds, extra help, time or energy to do what they were once considered too professional to do in this town or anywhere before being laid off for the fourth time in 2001, as well as the over-educated individuals who try to be responsible, are well-read, can do basic math, are afraid to breed due to financial concerns, have X amount in student loans to pay back but have no idea who they actually owe anymore because of actions taken by private lenders, the government and their contracted firms to buy and sell loans without the ‘student’ knowing until many strange phone calls appear in their call log or another statement shows up from a new handler of the loan that’s been hired by the government to hold your loan ransom until the threat of Congress passing a law that forgives your loan and debts is dropped or voted on, because there aren’t any jobs that pay the necessary amount to you, to live in Rockford where you were born and are technically/financially stuck and can’t relocate for decent work without leaving a trail of bad credit, while trying to pay back your loans on the contracted firm’s payment plan, while saving to create a sustainable future–nope, you’re already fucked before you could read if you’re born lower to middle class in Rockford, kiddo– and still can’t find a job because your knowledge and work ethics mean nothing in post-industrial cities like Rockford, where those with the money hide the money and those who want the only money that exists in the community’s cash flow, which is coming from state and federal grants, have to play politics, which is always the sign of an unhealthy economy and community – anyway, what we’re saying is that now is a GREAT time to to do free and underpaid work in the city of Rockford to help it become a top 25 city by 2025!  art-palette-vector-7caRLKecAPS: If you don’t agree with us, be an artist; make some Rockford area art friends and do some work for them for free that they can sell for a few pennies to help pay their bills.  Ignore your own existence, never use a birth name (it’s not like it matters, you can’t get paid for what your skills and ideas are worth around here, thus rendering your birth name as valuable as a cloud of farts heading face first into a fan), and then, slowly kill yourself in public by announcing clues on the internet to your fake friends and in public to your family and pets that your light has burned out and all hope is gone. They will cautiously smile or snicker and tell you to stay positive, but that message is no different than the worth of your birth name, which if you’ve forgotten already, your birth name is worth the same amount as a cloud of farts heading face first into a fan.  Your future is nothing but a big black wall if you can’t manage to wander through the darkness of your own existence to escape Illinois now. Though you are now emotionally blind, empty, cold and without a compass or a dollar, don’t forget to smile, be good to people that you run into while you wander and stay positive or whatever! Don’t worry, you are not alone. Rockford has so many cool people who celebrate themselves on a daily basis to hide the facts and if you can force yourself to give in, your physical and emotional poverty will disappear like farts flying face first into a fan.  Whichever way that fan is facing is up to you and your fucking attitude.

– Darby Appleby

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