Another Love Letter From Cherry Valley’s Jenny Clobber to Rockford

by Chet Fairway | February 14, 2016 11:59 AM

Rockford, IL – We received another love letter today from Jennifer Clobber of Cherry Valley, IL, who wanted to send her eternal love to the city she longs for for Valentine’s Day.

Dear Rockford, IL

I watch you from afar
From the valley
Cherry Valley of Illinois
I want to join you in the Rock River
I want to caress your ego and stroke your pride
I want to enjoy eating out every night
with you and your proud community
I want to drink every night from the village wells and taverns
to wake up with you holding me
protecting me from harm, stabbings, and home invasions
nursing my hangover
feeding me burgers

Feed me with your love!
Spray me with your pride!
Fill me with ego!
Whisper transformation to me!!!

I am yours whenever you want me
tell me
yell for me
Say, “Come here, Jenny! Come here!”

I am here waiting in the valley
Cherry Valley

at the Baseball Tap
listening to the racist regulars get drunk
pretending their jokes are funny
(they’re not)
Oh, the hunting and the fishing stories– save me, Rockford!
Save me from the Valley!

The Cherry Valley in Illinois is waiting for you to save me!
Oh, Rockford of Illinois
I am moaning for you

Ohhhhhhhh, Rockford
Save me, baby

I long to live inside of your forest city
I want to feel your pride bursting with ego
I love you, Rockford

Be my valentine? 

(Hey!  I will relocate for your love but are there jobs there?  I’m commuting to Belvidere right now for a great job, but should I quit it to fit in with your community? Hang out more, get some coffee downtown?  Maybe?)

Forever yours with love,

Jenny Clobber

Learn more to know less.

– Chet Fairway

Que?

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