Breaking News
Bye bye 2021 happy 2022 rockford smells still New Year: Covid Update
People with COVID-19 have had a wide range of symptoms reported – ranging from mild symptoms
...0I Used To Be A Man, Now I Am A Sea Otter
Rockford, IL – Timothy Krill was his own man for 27 years of his life. A
...0City Leaders Ask For More Free Bedtime Geese Stories
Locals are wondering about the geese and why they’ve chosen to take up residency in our
...0Locals Reminisce of Burnt Building That Has Sat Vacant Since 1978
Downtown Rockford’s poor, old, brick Building (which sat predominantly vacant since 1978) has caused locals to
...0Expired Pasta Sauce Melts Furniture Beams at Downtown’s Huge West Side Ristorante
Provolone Ferne Ristorante Cucina Kök’s west side grand opening has been cancelled due to the horrific
...0Rockford Asks, “Why Don’t We Get a Fancy Pipeline?”
The controversial construction of the Dakota Access Pipeline is a call to action for many environmentally
...0
Another Love Letter From Cherry Valley’s Jenny Clobber to Rockford
Rockford, IL – We received another love letter today from Jennifer Clobber of Cherry Valley, IL, who wanted to send her eternal love to the city she longs for for Valentine’s Day.
Dear Rockford, IL
I watch you from afar
From the valley
Cherry Valley of Illinois
I want to join you in the Rock River
I want to caress your ego and stroke your pride
I want to enjoy eating out every night
with you and your proud community
I want to drink every night from the village wells and taverns
to wake up with you holding me
protecting me from harm, stabbings, and home invasions
nursing my hangover
feeding me burgersFeed me with your love!
Spray me with your pride!
Fill me with ego!
Whisper transformation to me!!!I am yours whenever you want me
tell me
yell for me
Say, “Come here, Jenny! Come here!”
I am here waiting in the valley
Cherry Valley
at the Baseball Tap
listening to the racist regulars get drunk
pretending their jokes are funny
(they’re not)
Oh, the hunting and the fishing stories– save me, Rockford!
Save me from the Valley!
The Cherry Valley in Illinois is waiting for you to save me!
Oh, Rockford of Illinois
I am moaning for you
Ohhhhhhhh, Rockford
Save me, baby
I long to live inside of your forest city
I want to feel your pride bursting with ego
I love you, RockfordBe my valentine?
(Hey! I will relocate for your love but are there jobs there? I’m commuting to Belvidere right now for a great job, but should I quit it to fit in with your community? Hang out more, get some coffee downtown? Maybe?)
Forever yours with love,
Jenny Clobber
Learn more to know less.
– Chet Fairway
Related Articles
North Main and Riverside Construction Continues to Slow Down Drivers and Speed Up Fast Food Sales
Rockford, Illinois — Time is money. So it’s said. Road construction in Rockford, Illinois, is putting a new positive spin on
Black Friday +Bourbon County Stout =mass confusion.
ROCKFORD——-To most Rockfordians and some hillbillies from Byron, Black Friday means shitloads of coked out shoppers (that have been up
Trump Says RKFDnews Book Taught Him How To Tell Very, Very Good Stories
Rockford, Illinois— Mister President Trump admitted on 97.5 WZOK FM radio (Rockford, Illinois) this morning that he learned everything he
No comments
Write a commentWrite a Comment
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below: