Breaking News

Post-Haste Grump-Core Knew-Metal Drummer Takes Control of Rockford Music Scene

Post-Haste Grump-Core Knew-Metal Drummer Takes Control of Rockford Music Scene

Ricky Klan performed a ritual that hasn’t been seen since the 90’s to gain control over the entire Rockford music scene. The final blood sacrifice was completed early in the afternoon on September 17th. We do not have complete details of the requirements for the ritual, but we know that it involves geese genocide combined with ambiguous threats via social media users.

Mr. Klan is the drummer for a metal band whose name hasn’t been determined yet due to the design ornamentation of the band’s logo. He has already banned twenty-seven bands from performing in Rockford ever again—including Cheap Trick. Klan is banning rock groups that choose to perform original songs while practicing political correctness.

Ricky stated that he wants “a fertile music scene that supports civic pride racism, geese genocide, tee shirt sales, internet marketing, and belittles women and men for wearing tight, bedazzled jeans similar to what the people have in Belvidere and Roscoe. Rockton, too, bruh.

Klan may have struck a mighty blow to respectable musicians in the Rockford region, but the internet has already started the slow, painful process of tearing him into a new, digital a$$hole- not to be confused with the Rockford band, New Digital @$$Hºlé.

We hope Rockford can destroy this monster on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook, so that each of us can make Rockford great again for America on the Internet.

— Chaz

Tags assigned to this article:
Cheap Trickmusician

Related Articles

North Main and Riverside Construction Continues to Slow Down Drivers and Speed Up Fast Food Sales

Rockford, Illinois — Time is money. So it’s said. Road construction in Rockford, Illinois, is putting a new positive spin on

City Leaders Ask For More Free Bedtime Geese Stories

Locals are wondering about the geese and why they’ve chosen to take up residency in our pretty, positive, proud city.

1 Million Reasons Why God Loves Rockford – #999,998: GAP

#999,998 /#1,000,000 reasons why I, God, almighty Lord on high, Jesus’s Dad, your Mother, Father, Son and Holy Ghost Stuff loves Rockford,

No comments

Write a comment
No Comments Yet! You can be first to comment this post!

Write a Comment

Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below:

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.