Tag "RKFDP"
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Man Dressed in Bunny Suit Stabbed
ROCKFORD, IL – A Man dressed in a bunny suit was stabbed by RKFDP (Rockford Dream Police) officers Saturday night. The Man attacked 3 children and a dog with candy and treats around supper time. Sources say it was
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Firemen Chase Man In Shark Suit
Rockford, IL– Local Firefighters responding to a bogus heart attack call on the Far West Side noticed a man–possibly a politician–in a shark suit knocking on doors and peering into windows. RKFDFCFP (Rockford Forest City Fire Prevention) agents chased him
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Rockford Dream Police Shoot Dog and Kill Cat
ROCKFORD, IL – RKFDP (Rockford Dream Police) officers shot a cute dog and killed an extremely fertile cat on West State Street. No other information is available. You will know more when we know less. – Ron Kites
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RKFD Man Stabs Himself With Empowerment For His 52nd Birthday
Rockford, IL – A man celebrating his 52nd birthday arrived at SwedishAmerican Hospital around 9:30 p.m., Tuesday, with self-inflicted stab wounds to his chest, legs, left arm, cheeks, forehead, left hand, right kneecap,toes, and left buttock. The man told police:
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Crime Prevention Carp Language Discovered
Rockford, IL – Imagine two carp swimming in the Mighty Rock River. You hear a series of clicks, whistles and whines coming from each; much like a conversation in Dolphin language. It seems one carp can call another carp specifically by
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Famous Bank Robber Stimulates Forest City With Endowment
ROCK-O-FORD, IL – The FCDBI (Forest City Dream Bureau Investigators) and local RKFDP (Rockford Dream Police) are searching for a man dubbed “Penis Gun Steve”. Steve is believed to have robbed two banks earlier this year and attempted to rob
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