Tag "RKFDP"

Back to homepage

Man Dressed in Bunny Suit Stabbed

ROCKFORD, IL – A Man dressed in a bunny suit was stabbed by RKFDP (Rockford Dream Police) officers Saturday night.  The Man attacked 3 children and a dog with candy and treats around supper time.   Sources say it was

Read More

Firemen Chase Man In Shark Suit

Rockford, IL– Local Firefighters responding to a bogus heart attack call on the Far West Side noticed a man–possibly a politician–in a shark suit knocking on doors and peering into windows. RKFDFCFP (Rockford Forest City Fire Prevention) agents chased him

Read More

Rockford Dream Police Shoot Dog and Kill Cat

ROCKFORD, IL –  RKFDP (Rockford Dream Police) officers shot a cute dog and killed an extremely fertile cat on West State Street.  No other information is available. You will know more when we know less. – Ron Kites  

Read More

RKFD Man Stabs Himself With Empowerment For His 52nd Birthday

Rockford, IL – A man celebrating his 52nd birthday arrived at SwedishAmerican Hospital around 9:30 p.m., Tuesday, with self-inflicted stab wounds to his chest, legs, left arm, cheeks, forehead, left hand, right kneecap,toes, and left buttock. The man told police:

Read More

Crime Prevention Carp Language Discovered

Rockford, IL – Imagine two carp swimming in the Mighty Rock River. You hear a series of clicks, whistles and whines coming from each; much like a conversation in Dolphin language.  It seems one carp can call another carp specifically by

Read More

Famous Bank Robber Stimulates Forest City With Endowment

ROCK-O-FORD, IL – The FCDBI (Forest City Dream Bureau Investigators) and local RKFDP (Rockford Dream Police) are searching for a man dubbed “Penis Gun Steve”.  Steve is believed to have robbed two banks earlier this year and attempted to rob

Read More