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We Sorry, Downtown Rockford — Free Baked Ham Soup Certificate Download!
RKFDNews Stories have emotionally upset the locals, downtown leaders, tourism bureau experts, public charity accountants, social media directors, my mom, your dad, journalists, editors, media operatives on the dole, project development specialists, audio engineers, videographers, church goers, Jimmy Johns’ CEO, and PR/marketing/ad firm bozos.
We are praying for downtown and its emotional health after the horrific events of 6/25. Please pray with us. (10 seconds, pause, breathe, think about pizza, fried chicken… Baked ham soup, ok, that’s what you deserve? That’s what you need to feel better, Rockford? Done, prayer granted!)
We are also so sorry that you people believe in dragons, but we are concerned that it hurts your internet feelings. To prove how sorry we are for your downtown internet feelings, here’s a free baked ham soup certificate to our favorite downtown ristoranté! Good for a year beginning TODAY. You’re welcome, and thank us later.
We are still praying for downtown, pray with us?
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