Breaking News

Trump’s Bus Drives Right Past Rockford to Freeport

Rockford, IL – The President’s cavalry was seen driving past Rockford, IL earlier this month.  The 1.1 million dollar bus, along with a companion bus and a cavlary of vans cruised on I-90, right past Rockford, IL. “The decision to

Read More

Patty the Goose, May She Rest In Peace

Rockford, IL — Patty the Goose was one of Rockford’s favorite birds. She ate carp, fresh out of the Rock River. Pedestrians walking on the bike path considered Patty their friend. Patty the Goose hand-delivered soup to City Council meetings

Read More

У нас не было ничего общего с фальшивой новости

Мы не имеем ничего общего с фальшивой новости, циркулирующей в интернет-матери земли Америки. Мы слишком заняты, с нашим снегом и нашей водки, чтобы заботиться о фекалиях социальных медиа мелкой американца. Donald Trump это не наш кукольный или наша русская матрешка.

Read More

Stockholm Inn Restaurant Caught Stealing Mobility Scooters

Rockford- Stockholm Inn has been accused of stealing mobility scooters from the elderly. Worse yet, some accusations date back to 1994. A social media judge declared the restaurant guilty and sentenced them to 120 bad yelp reviews. Stockholm Inn tweeted

Read More

FBI Finally Ranks Rockford #1 as Most Dangerous American City — Congrats!

(Image Courtesy of Alexbaumgarner via Wikimedia Commons) Rockford, IL — The FBI’s 2016-2016 Uniform Crime Report was released this week. Rockford, Illinois is now the #1 most Dangerous American city based on crimes being committed with a population of 200,00 Geese

Read More

8 Dead, 15 Injured After Local Musician Discovers New McDonalds Sandwich

“I warned Him. I told him,‘You don’t know how the internet will react if you post that picture. People could get hurt…’ He just didn’t care.” -Terry Dactyl Rockford, IL— On the evening of September 9th, 2016, a local musician—who

Read More