Breaking News
I Used To Be A Man, Now I Am A Sea Otter
Rockford, IL – Timothy Krill was his own man for 27 years of his life. A
...0City Leaders Ask For More Free Bedtime Geese Stories
Locals are wondering about the geese and why they’ve chosen to take up residency in our
...0Locals Reminisce of Burnt Building That Has Sat Vacant Since 1978
Downtown Rockford’s poor, old, brick Building (which sat predominantly vacant since 1978) has caused locals to
...0Expired Pasta Sauce Melts Furniture Beams at Downtown’s Huge West Side Ristorante
Provolone Ferne Ristorante Cucina Kök’s west side grand opening has been cancelled due to the horrific
...0Rockford Asks, “Why Don’t We Get a Fancy Pipeline?”
The controversial construction of the Dakota Access Pipeline is a call to action for many environmentally
...0Facebook Prayers Saved Grandma’s Life
Rockford- Betsy Stienbecker was dead. She flat-lined Saturday night surrounded by her loving family. Grandma Stienbecker
...0
Friday Funday Lunch Discussion: Do Nurses Have God Complexes?
Do Nurses Have God Complexes? “Yes. They do.” Says the Holy Ghost.
Rockford, IL – Nurses can be beautiful and handsome, but most often their sexiness and charm is overshadowed by the power of our Lord, Jesus Christ and his father, God. We talked to their friend, Holy Ghost, for the answer to this weekend’s national discussion: Do Nurses Have God Complexes?
“Yes, they do. I’ve tried to bring this topic up a few times with God and His Son, but we never get too far because we’re three in one, or something like that. Most nurses I’ve provided oversight on to report back to the team here have expressed the abilities to know everything – more than their bosses, the doctors. Some nurses have acted upon possesing God’s complex by offereing all-knowing answers in public forums such as Facebook and Pinterest. This is a concern for myself, but God seems to be occupied with other issues regarding the human race. Some nurses DO NOT understand that eating as much fast food as they do is an offense to God. Jesus doesn’t seem to care these days. I’m hoping to get to the bottom of this, but like I said, this three in one Holy Trinity thing is quite a hurdle to get over.”
There ya have it, straight from the Holy Ghost’s mouth.
Alonzo Bottoms
Related Articles
WEATHER ALERT – Ice Melts When The Sun Returns To Rockford
Rockford, IL – We have an important weather warning for the Rockford region from our friends over at the Northern
Rockford Mayor Changes Graduation Requirements Policy
Rockford, IL– Mayor Barry Morrison scored a political victory on June 5th when administration officials announced the city’s intention to scrap
Eat Beef, Save Rockford!
We must eat more beef to save The Rockford. You have 10 days to reach a sales goal of 10 shirts
Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below: