The Hashtag, #transformrockford

The Hashtag, #transformrockford
The Pretty, Orange, Lamboguinea enjoys front row parking at a sold out #TransformRockford Stand-Up Comedy Show in downtown Rockford. The Lamboguinea’s owner, Lord Thomas Derby, is the CEO and LORD of ALL in the YOU$A™ at, based out of Schaumburg, IL. Lord Derby and his staff enjoys taking the $ out of Rockford CON$, A$$HOLE$, KNOW-IT-ALL$, ARTI$TS and $CUMBAGS to put back into the YOU$A!

Photo by Kate Menstraight © 2014 | Please use without permission with one condition that you use the hashtags #hivrockford, #transformrockford and #ELOHEL.

Kate’s Complaint Corner

Letters of honest complaints from an honest Kate.

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Kate Menstraight, Complaints Columnist 

Kate Menstraight, Complaints Columnist

All too often, some people attempt to make an argument by attacking and insulting hashtags created by those who hold opposing views. Transform RKFD‘s sallies are a perfect example. Unless you share my view that Transform RKFD’s roorbacks have gotten way out of hand with their hashtags, there’s no need for you to hear me further with regards to #transformrockford.

Transform RKFD’s claim that there won’t be any blowback from its making my worst nightmares come true on the internets is factually unsupported and politically motivated. A brief study of sociology will show one inescapable fact: I personally despise everything about Transform RKFD and hashtags that are void of nutrients found in the healthiest gluten-free hashtags such as #pizza and #taco.[/column]

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I despise Transform RKFD’s attempts to infantilize and corrupt the public with hashtags.

I despise how it insists that it should be a given a direct pipeline to the National Twitter Treasury.

Most of all, I despise its complete obliviousness to the fact that it has been doing everything in its power to ensure that we always get the short end of the stick when we are not looking for jobs on the internets, but in real life, real, original Rockford.

But that’s not all:  It recently began misdirecting, discrediting, disrupting, and otherwise neutralizing its rivals with alternate hashtags such as #BetterRKFD and #iseerockford. Indeed. Once again, it has made a mockery of its pledge not to be so pertinacious as #pizza or #taco would implore.

It’s too bad that Transform RKFD lacks the decency to admit that on several occasions I have heard it state that venal mumpsimuses and pushy converts to ruffianism should rule this country on the Rockford internets. I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a caucasian comment.

What I consider far more important though is that Transform RKFD’s statements such as “Violence and prejudice are funny” indicates that we’re not all looking at the same set of facts on the internets, especially on the Facebook and twitters. Fortunately, these facts are easily verifiable with a trip to the library by any open and honest individual with a proper dibbity do tucked tightly between their necks and skulls.

Photo by Kate Menstraight © 2014 | Please use without permission with one condition that you use the hashtags #hivrockford, #transformrockford and #ELOHEL.

Photo by Kate Menstraight © 2014 | Please use without permission with one condition that you use the hashtags #hivrockford, #transformrockford and #ELOHEL.

Transform RKFD is hampered by a load of contradictory and absurd assumptions of the school that it follows. Let me recap that for you because it really is extraordinarily important:

Life is a search for the true, the good, and the beautiful. It is not, as Transform RKFD believes, an excuse to wreck our country, derail our civilization, and threaten the human race with extinction by abusing hashtags.

Transform RKFD dreams of a time when they’ll be free to subvert time-tested societal norms. That’s the way it’s planned it, and that’s the way it’ll happen—not may happen but will happen—if we don’t interfere, if we don’t summon up the courage to fight scurrility and slander with the hashtags #pizza, #taco, and #ELOHEL.

All right, I think I’ve said enough about how Transform RKFD’s mind games do not come without a price. I’d be curious to see if Transform RKFD has a persuasive rebuttal but for now I will enjoy my little cup of tea with a buttered biscuit instead of drinking from their euclidean algorithm flavored pot of coffee, indeed? Indeed.

– Kate Menstraight

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