Man Dressed in Bunny Suit Stabbed
ROCKFORD, IL – A Man dressed in a bunny suit was stabbed by RKFDP (Rockford Dream Police) officers Saturday night. The Man attacked 3 children and a dog with candy and treats around supper time. Sources say it was a Father surprising his family with treats for the Easter Holiday.
Police found him running down the road around 10PM. He was still in the bunny head but had on women’s underwear and sandals. He attacked officers with hard boiled eggs, milk bones shaped like little eggs, and peanut butter cups. No confirmation if the weapons of choice were meant for his children and dog’s Easter treats.
“It was dark and none of the street lamps were turned on,” said The Woman witness, Selquanna Nerfherder. “We are trying to save on ammo, so we used our new kitchen knives to defend ourselves from The Man in the Bunny Suit,” said Officer Dirk Benningham.
No other information is available because we’re assuming there was a big mishap. Men dressed in Bunny and Santa suits have a tendency to creep people out.
You’ll definitely know more when we know less.™
– Jay Vannigan
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