Local Man Stabs Duck
Rockford IL– A Mallard duck was punched in the beak and stabbed in the back by a naked masked intruder, police said.
Witnesses told police just before 2:30 p.m. Friday, that a naked man– in what appeared to be Mexican wrestling mask– was attacking a duck near the river behind the Why M.C. Hayyy building. Witnesses said the intruder punched him in the beak and stabbed him in the back wing with a tiny blue knife while yelling, “Neil, why? Why?! Answer Me! D__n you, Neil!” before running from the scene and driving away in a red station wagon.
The duck was taken to an area animal hospital, where he was treated and released. The duck’s name is not Neil but witnesses believe the intruder had mistaken the Mallard for their friend, Neil.
Police said they do not have any suspects.
Related Articles
Morrissey: Rockford Officially Transformed
ROCKFORD, IL – With the City Council’s vote to approve a partnership with Gorman & Co. to renovate the Ziock
Non-Violent Ideas For Citizens of Rockford To Consider After City Aldermen Vote to Forgive Mayor’s Family Business Millions of Dollars in Real Estate Debt and Avoiding Foreclosure thus Proving How Corrupt, Uneducated, Nepotistic and Inept the Ponies Have Become
Rockford, IL – Violent metaphors can’t change the reality that 12 out of 13 aldermen voted in agreement to forgive
Lady Arrested For Poisoning Family With Homemade Lasagna
Rockford, IL – Ginger Bred, 51 year old mother of three and once-proud wife of her husband John Bred, was
THESIS SOUL SOD : ( POUR LITTLE DOCKY