Local Man Stabs Duck

Local Man Stabs Duck

Rockford IL– A Mallard duck was punched in the beak and stabbed in the back by a naked masked intruder, police said.

Witnesses told police just before 2:30 p.m. Friday, that a naked man– in what appeared to be Mexican wrestling mask– was attacking a duck near the river behind the Why M.C. Hayyy building. Witnesses said the intruder punched him in the beak and stabbed him in the back wing with a tiny blue knife while yelling, “Neil, why? Why?! Answer Me! D__n you, Neil!” before running from the scene and driving away in a red station wagon.

The duck was taken to an area animal hospital, where he was treated and released. The duck’s name is not Neil but witnesses believe the intruder had mistaken the Mallard for their friend, Neil.

Police said they do not have any suspects.


Tags assigned to this article:
duck stabbingNeil

Related Articles

Loose Lips, Tight Pants, Keeps Rockford Man Looking For Love in 2015

Rockford, IL – Brad Hinnasborgcorona-Morrissey, single 28 year old Rockford man, is happy as he approaches 2015. “I’ve got loose

Local Pimp Enjoys Pizza, Gets Detained

Around 11:17 PM tonight, Police were called to the Rockford city war zones known as 10th st and 17th ave….

Nintendo’s Mario Beat Up By Video-Game-Racists & Film Crew

Rockford, IL – According to the very popular, local, celebrity crime reporters, Rockford Scanner, something ridiculous went down on the

1 comment

Write a comment
  1. Ray Tarte 2 March, 2014, 19:00

    THESIS SOUL SOD : ( POUR LITTLE DOCKY

    Reply this comment

Write a Comment

Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below:

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.