Local Man Stabs Duck

Rockford IL– A Mallard duck was punched in the beak and stabbed in the back by a naked masked intruder, police said.
Witnesses told police just before 2:30 p.m. Friday, that a naked man– in what appeared to be Mexican wrestling mask– was attacking a duck near the river behind the Why M.C. Hayyy building. Witnesses said the intruder punched him in the beak and stabbed him in the back wing with a tiny blue knife while yelling, “Neil, why? Why?! Answer Me! D__n you, Neil!” before running from the scene and driving away in a red station wagon.
The duck was taken to an area animal hospital, where he was treated and released. The duck’s name is not Neil but witnesses believe the intruder had mistaken the Mallard for their friend, Neil.
Police said they do not have any suspects.
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