Blonde Rockford Mom Attacks Shoppers With Lawnmower
ROCKFORD, OF ILLINOIS, OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, OF NORTH AMERICA, OF EARTH, OF EVERYTHING ELSE THAT’S LAUGHING AT US – A local woman (blonde, single mom, nice body, etc.) started a lawnmower and chased people away from sales racks this morning at the local J-TarMart. She also began stabbing employees and macing family members, including her own daugher, trying to get the best post-holidays deals she could to resell on ebay.
“People were screaming and crying but no one cares as long as our sales are up, no big deal”, said store manager, Don Dolittleford.
More on this story and all kinds of christian publication news as soon as we decide to report it to you for free again.
– Jay Vannigan
Related Articles
Locals Protest Free Parenting Classes
Rockford, IL – A large crowd of 70,000 misinformed Rockford area parents of all shapes and sizes, single and nuclear,
All Local Starbucks to Close by Feb. 12th
ROCKFORD, IL – Kimberly Dumond’s 3-year career has come to this: Two weeks of severance pay. The 45-year-old, who works at
Mr. Lothario Makes Another Pizza For Mr. Strumwell
Rockford, IL – As reported last week, James Lothario took another day off to make a Rockford Pizza according to his
Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below: