2013 FIRST ROCKFORD BABY – Larson Dontel Svaydohlberg the IIIrd

2013 FIRST ROCKFORD BABY – Larson Dontel Svaydohlberg the IIIrd
Rockford, IL's first born baby of 2013, Larson Dontel Svaydohlberg the IIIrd and his father, Chadwick

Rockford, IL’s first born baby of 2013: Larson Dontel Svaydohlberg the IIIrd and his father, Chadwhick Svaydohlberg the IInd, celebrate the birthing mother’s disappearance to Los Angeles, CA

Rockford, IL –  Larson Dontel Svaydohlberg the IIIrd was the Rockford area’s first born baby at 12:00:08 AM on January 1st, 2013.  The young male boy was born to a single father, Chadwhick Svaydohlberg the IInd.

The wandering mother was there to give the region it’s first of many births and yelled out loud during the finale at the roomful of doctors, nurses and family members, “I’m outta here, I needs to find Lisa and Rick, get drunk and head to LA ASAP!”

LaQuondathon Smithson-Anderson jumped up from the surgeon’s table and ran out of Swedish American Hostpital to the nearest bar to enjoy her first drink in two months.   “There are no reasons for anyone to locate her”, according to the newborn’s father’s father and the rest of his nice, quiet family.

Chadwhick said, “It’s for the better of Larson and I that LaQuondathan spreads her party wings while she still can.  She had a hard time keeping away from the booze and cigarettes during the pregnancy.  Her friends are not good influences. They still enjoy LT’s after work with the warehouse guys from WalMart. Little Larson and I will wait for her to return with a family’s open arms. If she wants to.  My girlfriend, Kacey, and I are taking Larson to ski next week in Baraboo, Wisconsin. Baby’s first vacation… maybe we’ll move there if LaQuondathon doesn’t move back home.  Her sister, Julie, says she might stay in LA with Rick, not Lisa.  I don’t know.  What a wonderful honor to birth Rockford’s first 2013 baby!”

Congratulations to Larson and his family from RKFDNews.com and everyone in Rockford, IL.

– JoAnne Rankles


Tags assigned to this article:
first baby bornrockfordrockford's 2013

Related Articles

Congratulations, Peter Cetera, 2016 Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame Inductee!

We are the only Rockford area noose breaking operation to share this exciting news and piece of local rock and

RKFDP Officers and Fox Standoff Ends In Sticky Situation

Rockford, IL –  A very sticky situation went down in Rockford last night. A Fox defending himself with his gluegun was

Time is Irrelevant According to Vacationers

Rockford, IL – Gerry and Mary Lornestraps spent the new year holiday in Rockford, IL visiting family and friends. “The

No comments

Write a comment
No Comments Yet! You can be first to comment this post!

Write a Comment

Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below:

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.