Black Friday +Bourbon County Stout =mass confusion.

28 Nov, 2014

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ROCKFORD——-To most Rockfordians and some hillbillies from Byron, Black Friday means shitloads of coked out shoppers (that have been up all night if you know what I mean) waiting in lines four hours or more just to violently climb over each other biting, kicking and sometimes just stabbing and battering other shoppers just to get the best deals on vapor pens, feel good shirts with mustaches and the trendiest jeans with cool shit on the pockets. Plus all the new holiday items that will be obsolete in February but are super tight right now.
In the craft beer community, however, the day after Thanksgiving is probably the best event ever invented: the annual release of Goose Island’s Bourbon County Stout, the first mass-marketed bourbon-barrel-aged beer, and still one of the most coveted rare bottles around.
At least 14 people were injured at 2 different liquor stores in the Rockford area trying to get 4 pack and in some cases just a single bottle. When stores ran out people went crazy.
One man and his mother are accused of attacking and then trying to rob a woman outside of a liquor store in Rockford’s far East side.
According to police, 51-year-old Roger Pettinger and his 77 year old mother Theresa grabbed a woman and dragged her behind the store. They demanded her Bourbon County Stout she offered them money but they refused and repeatedly punched her several times and knocked her to the ground and stole her precious 4 pack, say police. The woman was able to escape and run into the store to call 911.

The woman was transported to Beloit Memorial Hospital (because it was closest and they have a Link machine at the cafeteria) for treatment of minor injuries, say police.

Pettinger and his mother Theresa have been charged with assault and attempted robbery.
“We don’t care if we are in jail we split that bottle before the po-po got there ” said mother Theresa it was wonderful and made my tongue feel good.

RKFD Dream Police are also seeking a man who Friday attacked a clerk at a liquor store and fled after stealing a single bottle of Bourbon County Stout.Yes we said single bottle.

people waiting for just a single bottle of Bourbon County Stout.

No more information will ever be available.