Poork Town: Community Prayers Answered, Portillo’s Coming To Rockford

Poork Town:  Community Prayers Answered, Portillo’s Coming To Rockford

Poork Town is a special series from RKFDnews.com that focuses on what makes our community’s egos, stomachs, necks, legs, arms, butts and heads so large, poor and proud.

Rockford, IL –  Gerrard Himmis, 30, has been praying for Portillo’s restaurant to come to Rockford for at least 20 years:

portillos-jumbo-hot-dog-fries-chicagoI have prayed everyday for a Portillo’s to come to Rockford.  I am one of many Rockfordians with a body that needs Portillo’s to sustain the pride I’ve worked on with my community.   I cannot tell you the tears I cried for Jesus and Rockford when I heard my prayers were answered. I will be the first one waiting for the first juicy beef and sausage combo with peppers, a large fry and chocolate shake.”

The popular Chicago area eatery owned by Dick Portillo has been receiving these prayers for years on Facebook and through an online site that a few proud locals are responsible for.  We tried to contact Dick for a statement but we’re pretty sure our email ended up in the Portillo’s spam folder.

Where is the Portillo’s being built at you’re wondering?  We have no idea, you Rockford area fat-asses, and we don’t care. Whatever.  Please take your pride and comfort in the fact that your prayers are answered.  Soon, you will be able to eat your prayers again.

You will definitely learn more when we know less about fast-food restaurants coming to make Rockford people fatter than they are.™

– Ron Kites


Tags assigned to this article:
fat townportillosrestaurantrockford

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  1. Jergin Fjord Janspork 2 July, 2014, 13:02

    The junk in Rockford’s trunk is about to get bigger. Hooray Portillo’s!

    Reply this comment
  2. DLG 2 July, 2014, 10:54

    This post is months after I posted on this subject….no Portillo’s started anywhere in the vicinity of Rockford. Soooo, that makes above ‘knowers’ not really knowing about one coming. Keep praying! LOL

    Reply this comment
    • RKFD NEWS GOD 2 July, 2014, 15:11

      Actually, the joke might be on you, too. This article was written last October of 2013. We make jokes and prayers come true. ; )

      Reply this comment
  3. foley 2 July, 2014, 00:57

    If you want a good italian beef try s&s subs in belvidere or marcos’s in rockton. You won’t be disappointed

    Reply this comment
  4. bptr 30 June, 2014, 18:30

    Praying for a Portillo’s? You have some serious mental problems. I am guessing you weigh over 300 pounds too.
    Here’s an idea: learn to cook real food at home.

    Reply this comment
  5. Kimberly hamm 10 January, 2014, 01:32


    Reply this comment
  6. Pookie 22 October, 2013, 10:24

    South Beloit Sammy, re: how you cannot wait to “be the first” to “pop a boner” in the parking lot of Portillo’s…are you going to fuck Portillo’s? Have sex with a hot dog from Portillo’s? We suggest you find a human and unleash your boner-ness with them. Not a restaurant.

    Reply this comment
  7. MaryAnne 22 October, 2013, 10:20

    Just visited the construction site – go see for yourself all you doubters, haters and unbelieving fools!!!

    Reply this comment
  8. Howdy Peterson 16 October, 2013, 08:47

    Tom & Jerry’s is “OK” depending on which one you go to. The one on East State Street is a dumpy health hazard. Last time I walked in there, I looked around and left. The one on 173 (no relation to the one on East State) is much, much cleaner, very well kept, and the food is “OK”.

    Truthfully, I go to Spanky’s over Tom & Jerry’s and Uncle Nicks. The food is about as close to Portillo’s as you are going to get (without being Portillo’s). The only downside is that nearly everyone working there looks like they are on work release from prison. But, they make great gyros. Just don’t make eye contact with anyone while ordering. Law of the “Concrete and Iron Jungle” here, folks. Just stare at your shoes and take your gyro however it is that they tell you you’re getting it, and DO NOT look at them in the eyes!.

    Reply this comment
    • David Slaymaker 16 October, 2013, 19:02

      Personally,I think Spanky’s sucks. Tom and Jerrys (totally agree with the 173 comment) is far better IMO. Uncle nicks is just highly overrated I feel. I really reccomend checking out dog world in Beloit, WI. Better best Gyros and italian beefs you can get in my book!

      Reply this comment
      • Howdy Peterson 17 October, 2013, 10:26

        Thanks for the Dog World reference, David. I’m going to check them out. I’m always looking for a great Gyro!

        Reply this comment
  9. Trevor Franklin Michaels 16 October, 2013, 04:09

    I called the register star and they confirmed that portillos starts construction in late March/early April. Do your research people.

    Reply this comment
  10. DLG 15 October, 2013, 20:36

    Well, kids, its a wait and see, isn’t it. Then you can battle about your daddy’s restaurants and who knows what is what. I, for one, hope it is true. That “contract”, for whatever reason, should never have been signed by Portillo’s. Was Beef A Roo that intimidated? Their menu can stand up to competion.

    Reply this comment
  11. Anonymous 15 October, 2013, 17:33

    The story states they have no idea where it is being built. Years ago a manager at the Crystal Lake location told me they already own property in Rockford. They would not build here because of the permit/zoning hassles.

    Reply this comment
  12. South Beloit Sammy 15 October, 2013, 12:12

    Cant wait to pop the first boner in the parking lot!

    Reply this comment
  13. Ron 14 October, 2013, 22:19

    Now get a Gino’s east

    Reply this comment
    • Humply Boooooooooooogaz 16 October, 2013, 08:37

      It would be Geno’s West if it came to Rockford. Why, you ask? Because it would be in West Rockford? Of course not, silly. It would be because we are West of Geno’s East.

      Reply this comment
  14. MJW 14 October, 2013, 21:50

    LoL @ Tom & Jerry’s. Your “restaurant” is as good as closed once Portillo’s opens.

    Reply this comment
  15. God 14 October, 2013, 21:37

    Tom and Jerry’s huh? What exactly are you smoking??? Once Portillos opens you can say goodbye to all the other pretenders.

    Reply this comment
  16. big ed 14 October, 2013, 19:27

    T.js dont have nothin on portillos

    Reply this comment
  17. Joe 14 October, 2013, 19:11

    They are coming, I work with the construction company that is building their restaurant

    Reply this comment
    • Anonymous 14 October, 2013, 22:10

      There will be no Portillos near or in rockford I called five different Portillo’s locations talk to the managers there will be no Portillos in or near rockford

      Reply this comment
      • Ben 15 October, 2013, 07:27

        I’m guessing you chose to remain anonymous because if people knew who you were they’d ask you how much time do you have on your hands to call 5 managers to confirm or deny the existence of a freaking Portillos.

        Reply this comment
        • nina 15 October, 2013, 10:06

          there is a agreement with portillos to not built in the Beef a roo territory. This story and this website is all fake

          Reply this comment
          • Thomas 16 October, 2013, 04:14

            Nina is a hater. Her dad must own beef of Roos and is scared of all the money he won’t have that my dad has. They can put yummy beef and sausage in heartland career mall and I would only have to drive 10 minutes! So excited!

  18. Gerri 14 October, 2013, 18:14

    They are not coming to town. my father is a restaurant owner and i know that they cannot come here because they signed a contract with beef-a-roo. so keep dreaming. Try Tom & Jerrys. Their food is similiar to Portillos if not better! Trust me! You won’t regret it. 3 Locations in Rockford, Belvidere, and Machesney Park on 173. :):)

    Reply this comment
    • Thomas 14 October, 2013, 19:26

      My dad is also a restaurant so I know that you are wrong. The beef of roo contract expired this year so stop being beef and sausage hater because your dad is not the only restaurant and my dad makes more money. Portillos yum!

      Reply this comment
    • Holly 14 October, 2013, 20:31

      Tom & Jerrys is disgusting!

      Reply this comment
    • Anonymous 14 October, 2013, 22:07

      Tom and Jerry’s is no comparison to Portillos

      Reply this comment
    • Anonymous 15 October, 2013, 01:27

      Tom and Jerrys is good…Great service and quality food, but cant hold candle to Portillos….

      Reply this comment

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