Gay Marriages Between Hemis and Hillbillies Approved
Rockford, IL – A landmark event occurred in the Forest City of Hopes, Dreams, Defeats, Sounds, and Visions. City council men and a few voters reached an agreement on gay marriages between Dodge Hemis and Rockford Hillbillies.
The unanimous approval is another victory for Rockford area homosexuals who have been hoping and praying to God and Mayor Barry Morrison for tax cuts on Dodge Hemi truck purchases intended for recreation and life planning.
“This is a major victory for me and my gorgeous yellow Hemi. It has 4 mufflers,” said Neil Hutchinson. “Hopefully this opens the doors for more gay marriages between Dodge Hemis and Billies being approved by Rockford leaders.”
Trixie Scotch, a local heterosexual stripper, told RKFDnews.com: “My friend Lisa loves her shoes and sleeps with them, takes showers with them, oils them, hugs and kisses them. It’s real love. I hope Lisa can marry her shoes in Rockford one day.”
You’ll know more when we know less.™
– JoAnne Rankles
Related Articles
Please Rockford, Give It To Me Straight From The Heart
Dear Rockford, I could start dreamin’ about you again but it never ends. As long as you’re gone we may as
Garnished Landscapes: Rockford, IL, Public Art Series Wants Your Photos!
RKFDnews is proud to introduce a public art series called “Garnished Landscapes” that involves you, the internet people of Rockford,
Large Tree Installation Hides Downtown’s Hornets Nest
Rockford, IL – A 4,000 pound tree was removed from Roscoe, IL, and transported to downtown Rockford to prepare for
Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below: