Gay Marriages Between Hemis and Hillbillies Approved
Rockford, IL – A landmark event occurred in the Forest City of Hopes, Dreams, Defeats, Sounds, and Visions. City council men and a few voters reached an agreement on gay marriages between Dodge Hemis and Rockford Hillbillies.
The unanimous approval is another victory for Rockford area homosexuals who have been hoping and praying to God and Mayor Barry Morrison for tax cuts on Dodge Hemi truck purchases intended for recreation and life planning.
“This is a major victory for me and my gorgeous yellow Hemi. It has 4 mufflers,” said Neil Hutchinson. “Hopefully this opens the doors for more gay marriages between Dodge Hemis and Billies being approved by Rockford leaders.”
Trixie Scotch, a local heterosexual stripper, told RKFDnews.com: “My friend Lisa loves her shoes and sleeps with them, takes showers with them, oils them, hugs and kisses them. It’s real love. I hope Lisa can marry her shoes in Rockford one day.”
You’ll know more when we know less.™
– JoAnne Rankles
Related Articles
Rockford Man Finds Match on RKFDSingles.com
Rockford, IL – Hector McKerrigan, a local professional, spent years unsuccessfully trying to find a soul mate after his divorce
Our City, Our Portillo’s + Rock River Valley Pantry Tee Shirt Fundraiser
RKFDnews.com has launched an online campaign fundraiser to donate 100% of the profits made from the sale of this shirt
Everyone In Rockford Will Die Of Alcoholism or Pride
Rockford, IL – New reports coming out of Springfield, IL, via the US Dept. of Internal Health Affairs has predicted
Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below: