Gay Marriages Between Hemis and Hillbillies Approved
Rockford, IL – A landmark event occurred in the Forest City of Hopes, Dreams, Defeats, Sounds, and Visions. City council men and a few voters reached an agreement on gay marriages between Dodge Hemis and Rockford Hillbillies.
The unanimous approval is another victory for Rockford area homosexuals who have been hoping and praying to God and Mayor Barry Morrison for tax cuts on Dodge Hemi truck purchases intended for recreation and life planning.
“This is a major victory for me and my gorgeous yellow Hemi. It has 4 mufflers,” said Neil Hutchinson. “Hopefully this opens the doors for more gay marriages between Dodge Hemis and Billies being approved by Rockford leaders.”
Trixie Scotch, a local heterosexual stripper, told RKFDnews.com: “My friend Lisa loves her shoes and sleeps with them, takes showers with them, oils them, hugs and kisses them. It’s real love. I hope Lisa can marry her shoes in Rockford one day.”
You’ll know more when we know less.™
– JoAnne Rankles
Related Articles
City Approves First Drive Thru Gambling Facility
ROCKFORD- A site plan for a new drive-thru gaming facility named “Dirty Slots” on Jackson Avenue – near the I-90
Rockford Shows Up To Eat Beef; Locals Still Can’t Find Reasons to Vote
Rockford, IL – To those of you who have been contemplating about stopping by the new Portillo’s on East State
Photo Gallery – RKFDnews Sponsors Transform RKFD Event
Rockford, IL – RKFDNews.com was proud to host this past weekend’s successful community event for “Transform RKFD.” All in all
Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below: