Oprah Attacks Small Child

Oprah Attacks Small Child

Oprah

“If a tree falls in Rockford and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” is a philosophical thought experiment that raises questions regarding observation and knowledge of reality.

If you are reading this and want something witty and profound to pop out you are not in luck today I am drunk and hate you all equally.
My wife went to Philadelphia to see a washed up 90’s grunge band play at a small bar and I went swimming with a goat and went to several bars to get piss drunk.(mission accomplished)

I hope you all are having a crappy week………
When a tree falls in the Rockford it will, in fact, make a sound. If no one is around to hear this event, the sound will still occur.

Rockford squirrels aren’t the only animals that impersonate people—a beluga whale learned how to mimic the human voice, a new study suggests.
Shut up.
I think we have been hacked.

I am coming to Rockford tonight and would like to have some fun with a Lego Assembler either before or after the rock show downtown. I am looking for a nice human to give a white rose to and maybe more. I am 5’10, 435 lbs white and drug and disease free. Please be cool, wearing a jean jacket, or red velvet pants and be between the ages of 67 and 79 and drug and disease free. I am an awesome swimmer. I cannot juggle grenades but can play a little banjo. Please send a pic. Please place the word Highlighter in the subject line so I know you are real. You will get the best oatmeal you have ever had. I cannot grill peaches. You won’t regret getting oatmeal or plums from me. I play pinball also.


Tags assigned to this article:
oprahrockford

Related Articles

Local Cat Lover Upset With RkfdNews, Unlikes Our Facebook Page and Writes Us Letter lol

a local man who also happens to love cats (according to his facebook public phone photo) went on a rampage today

Rare Steven Quimby piece found in Rockford Art Museum Basement.

ROCKFORD- A rare piece of art was found hidden behind an old heater in the basement of the Rockford Art

Man finds another use for his 100 Dollar Bill

ROCKFORD— A Rockford man found another use for his $100 dollar bill after it fell on the bathroom floor and

No comments

Write a comment
No Comments Yet! You can be first to comment this post!

Write a Comment

Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below:

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.