Pastor Goes On “Holy Roll” Consuming 200 Swiss Cake Rolls In 9 Minutes
Drake Daniels addressing Cross Current Wednesday night, prior to consuming 200 swiss cake rolls.
ROCKFORD – Pastor Drake Daniels of First Assembly of God’s Farmhouse Church took the stage Wednesday during an evening event known as Cross Current when he went into a rage or “fit” as it was later described by onlookers.
“Drake was just speaking about the body of Christ and he began grabbing from a box of Swiss Cake Rolls on the stage. There must have been hundreds of them. He just started chomping on them like an animal. He said we had to attack evil and devour it through Christ. Honestly, I was freaked out,” Jordan Spencer, 16, said.
Pastor Daniels then walked to the middle of the stage, stripped down to his underwear, and began rubbing the remaining cakes all over his body in an act some have since described as “engrossing,” “carnal,” and “the best impromptu performance since Clint Eastwood took the stage with a chair at the RNC.”
Drake is currently resting and recovering alone at his home. His Facebook page has since become very active, but Drake is certain the new requests he has gotten are from sinners, so he has yet to add them.
If you’d like to be a friend of Pastor Drake’s on Facebook, contact us at: [email protected]
Related Articles
Ice Cream Man Serves Up Twenty Two Gallons of PepperMint Chocolate Jesus
Rockford, IL – The city’s favorite ice cream man made an unexpected stop at St. Charles’ Field of Hearts Church,
2013 FIRST ROCKFORD BABY – Larson Dontel Svaydohlberg the IIIrd
Rockford, IL – Larson Dontel Svaydohlberg the IIIrd was the Rockford area’s first born baby at 12:00:08 AM on January
TEDx Event Will Inspire Locals To Continue Telling Stories To Each Other
Rockford, IL -TEDx – the popular online community site that inspires professional people (and lazy web surfers needing to get their day going if coffee doesn’t) to think with other peoples ideas – is coming to town! The TEDxRockford’s PR statement says, “the goal of TEDxRockford is to tell stories around the model’s four main themes: 21st Century Brainpower, Innovation and Entrepreneurship, Quality Connected Places, and Branding with New Narratives.” We thought locals were trying to do that for decades, but now we know that TED is listening to us!
Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below: