Famous Guitarist Visits Rockford, Gets Arrested
Rockford IL – Quinn Gelastio, rhythm guitarist for the heavy metal band FrequencyX2 was arrested tonight for possession of a controlled substance (Blue Ice).
Police became suspicious after watching the heavy metal guitarist smoking something “non-traditional,” says Sergeant Whill Jorgens. “He was inhaling a blue (vapor) from a very odd looking device. It looked like a jellybean dispenser, but it was made out of glass. (The vapor) had an immediate effect on him, he became unruly, and that’s when we decided to make the arrest.”
Police claim the guitarist became enraged when a fan complained that a particular guitar solo was “too long.” Gelasto threw his guitar into the crowd, injuring several bystanders, screaming “I have the talent! I make the art!” RKFDNews is still trying to verify reports claiming that Gelasto also threw salami sandwiches at the crowd.
“Blue Ice is something that we don’t see too much of here in the Rockford community, and that’s how I’d like to keep it,” says Sergeant Jorgens.
UPDATE: Quinn Gelastio, lead guitarist of the popular metal band, FrequencyX2, has been released as of 1:04 P.M., central time on Sept. 27th, 2012. The band’s manager released a statement:
“Quinn was arrested for possession of the “Blue Ice” after enjoying one of a few guitar solos without just cause, and we intend to file an investigation along with a lawsuit on all those who condemn his solos, as well as the false accusations that Quinn was enjoying a drug that police have never seen before around the Rockford, IL region. Mr. Gelastio is one of the most amazing, guitar shredders we’ve seen in America in a very long time. He also has bizarre skoking habits that enhances his live performances.
The “Blue Ice” he was arrested for smoking is a homemade batch of of all blue colored Nerds’ candy mixed with blue Jolly Ranchers that Quinn himself melts down to a liquid by adding a touch of milk, honey and flour. Mr. Gelastio is a candy connoisseur when he’s not touring.
Quinn is a candy addict and there is nothing we want to do to stop it because it enhances his guitar playing, which has made FrequencyX2 one of the most exciting metal bands to emerge from Lars Ulrich’s dark shadow. We can’t wait to get out of dodge, this place is too f____d up for FrequencyX2 and for Quinn Gelastio.
Thank you for a horrible touring experience, Rockford, IL.”
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“Frequency X2 are the past present and future of post-metal.” Then why are they a metal band? And if I “google” how to “tuck myself into bed” i get 650,000 more results than I do for “Frequency X2”. And frankly, if someone needs to “smoke” candy Nerds to be good, man I don’t think I WANT to know what that person is in real life….
You’re thinking too hard, but thank you for learning more to know less at rkfdnews.com.
This is the most retarded thing I’ve ever read. It can’t be legit. Not only is the incident ridiculous, the statement issued is just too much… We’re gonna hunt down and sue people who don’t like his guitar solos because he is an insecure candy smoking prick. If you’re as old as this guy looks, it’s time to accept that you’re not really an artist, your guitar solos aren’t incendiary anthems, and maybe…you should get a real job. Yeah. People. Are. Stupid. Seriously, this isn’t a joke?
Never heard of them. Apparently Google hasn’t heard of them either. Did a search – no results.
Frequency X2 and Quinn Gelastio are the past, present and future of post- metal. They’re so underground, not even the internet can keep up with their rise to fame, buddy. Does Google tuck you into bed. Does Google make your sandwich? Didn’t think so.
the headline said famous guitarist
Quinn is so famous not even the wind can feel him.