Rockford Nominated as First Internment Camp

13 Aug, 2015

Print this article Font size -16+

August 13, 2015 In a concentrated effort to make use of Rockford’s status as one of the worst cities to live in America, state officials are campaigning to have the city be the first internment camp for “disloyal Americans” as proposed by General Wesley Clark. Rockford has slowly climbed the crime list in recent years and officials feel that instead of trying harder to clean up the streets it would be more cost and time efficient to erect a fence around the perimeter of the city and begin populating it with the disloyal.

“We think that Rockford has finally carved out its niche in American society,” An anonymous official stated. “Everything happens for a reason and because of the heightened bloodlust of its citizens this city has become a very promising template for the new internment camps.”

Rockford, a city where the high rate of gunfire reminds us all of the Fourth of July, has a crime rate like few others and it is this fact that officials hope will deter Americans from their free-thinking individualism and encourage their demanded patriotism.

“Anyone who makes remarks that oppose the government will be placed in Rockford, Illinois to fend for themselves. Once placed, the disloyal will have to figure out how to ward off the citizens of Rockford to stay alive. It’s a dangerous place – the citizens take their lives in their hands every time they walk out their front doors and their high aggression levels will not tolerate newcomers. We expect a lot of bodies the first week or so, but that’s the price disloyal Americans will pay for their treason.”

More on this as it becomes available.