Rockford Principals Enjoy Tuesday Threesomes Together

Rockford Principals Enjoy Tuesday Threesomes Together
L > R:  Jerry, Linda, Tonto are Principals who love Tuesday Threesomes in Rockford

L > R: Jerry, Linda, Tonto are Principals who love Tuesday Threesomes in Rockford

Rockford, IL – Three fellow principals from a RPS205 high school, Jailford,  middle school, Tacovelt and a special one from the catholic h.s., Druggylan, have been sharing a mutual hunger for the same thing tax-payers do.  Tax payers want to know more and so do we.

RKFDnews.com received thrilling, scandalous, violent, starving and heartbroken information about a regular Tuesday Threesome that 2/3’s of the tax-payers are being left out of.  We can only share 2/3’s of the story because the catholic high school is not a tax-payer paid-for-daycare center.  For personal reasons we will not share their full names but can tell you that Jerry, Tonto, and Linda love to eat together without Linda’s boyfriend Todd– and that’s a big problem. We have the breaking noose.

REd Lobster Biscuits

Every week the two principals and assistant principal get together for lunchtime Tuesday Threesomes to keep their working relationship healthy during their tax-payer paid for summer vacation in beautiful, sunny Rockford, IL.  Problems rose when Linda’s boyfriend Todd found out and got hungry– “Real hungry,” said the Todd himself.

He added, “I can’t believe my girlfriend would hide this from me. I love eating lunch in Rockford and doing it alone is terrible.”

Rkfdnews discovered from Todd that the 3 principals absolutely love starting out their Tuesdays with salads at Applebees, cheddar bay biscuits at Red Lobster, and a main course of pizza and dessert wings at Pizza Hut‘s buffet.

Todd adds, “It’s the pizza that made me jealous.  My girlfriend knows how much I love Pizza Hut’s buffet. That did it for me.  I couldn’t take it anymore so I beat up Jerry and Tonto and told my lady Linda, ‘listen, I love you but you need to include me in your Tuesday threesomes.'”

Hungry Todd, boyfriend of Linda, loves Pizza Hut

Hungry Todd, boyfriend of Linda, loves Pizza Hut

When rumors of the threesome lunch benders and the violence that Todd reigned down on Jerry and Tonto started flying amongst RPS205 officials, the tax-payers and catholics, it got back to Hungry Todd and he was not happy– he was even more hungry than before.  Hungry Todd wants the public to know that if you’re going to have a threesome without him, “Watch out, I love to eat and when I am hungry, I am one hungry Todd.”

Us too, Todd, us too.

When we learn more you’ll know less.™

– Lisa Soland

 


Tags assigned to this article:
principalsrockfordthreesome

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2 comments

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  1. Dina Sipiora 20 September, 2013, 13:32

    HAHAHA! This story gets even better! Apparently there is video footage of the “ass whupping” at a local Rockford watering hole. Angry husband, nasty wife and two horny Vikings. Yuck.

    Reply this comment
    • RKFD NEWS GOD Author 29 September, 2013, 14:46

      Who took home the leftovers from Red Lobster?
      Can we see the video to make sure Todd was apologized to?

      Reply this comment

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