Couple Attacked by Real Original Rockford Area Musician

Couple Attacked by Real Original Rockford Area Musician

Original musician reacts to Harriet’s request for “Freebird”

Rockford IL — Local music lovers, Greg and Harriet Starks, were enjoying a nice night out by listening to live music in Rockford on Thursday night.  Harriet asked a local guitar player from popular local band, The 420s, Timmy Swansonstein, to play “Freebird” as a joke.

“I do it all the time when I get a little drunk at shows,” said Harriet.

Harriet said she was running towards the guy with the guitar in the band, that’s cleverly named after the band’s fascination with plants, when she yelled for “Freebird.”  Moments later, she found Greg to grab another drink and make out.  Pausing between sips of saliva, she looked behind Greg’s head.  She had that look in her eye, and wasn’t sure what it was, but Greg knew it was bad… real bad.

The open mouth, wild eyes, crooked teeth, flattened ears, and the ponytail. Greg’s seen that reflection in Harriet’s eyes before, but this time that reflection attacked him unlike the reflections he’s seen before in his wife’s eyes.  It was Timmy Swansonstein, the guitar player she had asked to play “Freebird” earlier. The guitar player initially tackled Mr. Starks by his left thigh as Harriet tried to back off, stumbling into another couple making out.

Greg told us via email, “My mind started racing to Harriet, to the trip, to fighting, to escaping Rockford alive.”  Swansonstein jerked him back and forth like a barn door in a hurricane, but he remembered no pain, just disbelief. The 420s lead guitarist bit into Mr. Stark again and again, it’s jaw hit like a shark in shallow waters, stopping at nothing until it’s tooths hit bones. The pain reigned forward from the angry guitarist with amphibian teeth didn’t stop.  Guitar picks flung out of the guitarist’s pockets, flying towards his eyes like tiny sharp space ships do when they are delivering death to earth’s most expendable humans (white, wealthy, drunk, uneducated Americans who don’t believe in aliens or science).

Millenniums have passed and original musicians have lurked on the the outer limits of everyday life. Dark shadows hang like street lights beyond the firelight.

In this city, they have been our respected competition and greatest threat. Close encounters with musicians, especially original music playing musicians, are rare. They trigger an automatic response, a reflex of fear that is seldom called upon in this lifetime.

Sometimes we get away.  Sometimes we can’t.

Most of all, musicians inspire a deep fascination.

Greg remembered how, as a boy, he would go with his family on vacations to beautiful Janesville, WI.  He recollects with us how his parents, brother and he had always wanted to see a truly original musician in a world where cover bands rule. The curiosity never left him. Three years ago, during a trip to Minneapolis with the family, he and Harriet saw and listened to a real original musician they spotted through a window… playing original music.

It fascinated them.

If anyone else notices real musicians playing real, original songs in Rockford, IL or the surrounding global area, please contact us:



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  1. Jizzabel Relax 8 October, 2012, 22:09

    i heard of a band called blump once, they sounded like poop and fire.

    Reply this comment

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