ArtSeen begins, offends tonight

ROCKFORD, IL – East Rockford will be abuzz tonight with local sculptors, painters, and other fringe artists as they fill East Rockford stores and shops with art. The rapidly growing, vibrant art scene in Rockford was shaken a bit by last year’s “Nude Jesus” debacle, but this weekend’s 13th bi-annual is sure to be even bigger.
“This is always a great weekend for us, a true celebration of local culture,” says Merg Jennsen, front-end janitor at Menard’s on Riverside. “We always have fun hosting the ‘arty types.’ They dress real funny, they use big words… they’re really a hoot. I don’t really understand a lot of what they do, but the kids just love it.”
Merg then returned to cleaning up small droplets of blood that were coming from the eight meathooks stuck in the arms and shoulders of performance artist “Pendulus,” who was hovering almost 12 feet above on a complicated pulley system.
“It’s a real rush to suspend at Menard’s,” says Pendulus. “The staff is always super friendly. They help hook up the ropes, they violently pierce my body several times with stainless steel hooks, and when I’m done with the performance, I can easily pick up a few bags of road salt and some weed killer for my house.”
“It sure beats suspending in my mom’s house,” he added. “My [suspension friend] Darryl and mom don’t get along.”
Other venues will be hosting musicians, painters, sculptors, jugglers, piercers, and guys on stilts. One way or another, you’re sure to find something that will either thrill, or offend you.
“Hell, I’m more offended by the prices,” said one female shopper. “Seriously, $850 for this little piece of junk, blinky metal clock thingy? Who has the money to buy this repulsive stuff? What the heck is it?”
It’s ArtSeen, ma’am.
Enjoy.
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Menard’s – Pendulus’ Suspension Sircus
Taco Bell Riverside – Facial Tattoo Demonstration by Matt Crabble
Woodman’s – Rough Sex Demo with master dominatrix Gramma
Taco Bell East State – BunchOjunk Studios
Gordman’s – Doris Bleeman – Heads with Catfish
Road Ranger Gas Stations (All) – Cooperative Massage
Best Buy – Doug Hillmen and the Mountain Boys
Lowe’s – Graffiti Guyz Pop n Lock Show
Logli’s East State – Ignacio Tloxipopo’s Traditional Aztec Sacrifice
Dick’s Sporting Goods – Two Hans On Pottery Demo by Hans Lerhman & Hans Pertard
Crimson Ridge – OVERXPOSUR, selected photographs from Barrie Asdan
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