1 Million Reasons Why God Loves Rockford – #999,998: GAP

02 Jun, 2015

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#999,998 /#1,000,000 reasons why I, God, almighty Lord on high, Jesus’s Dad, your Mother, Father, Son and Holy Ghost Stuff loves Rockford, IL:  GAP.

Do I, God, even have to provide you a few reasons as to why I love #999,998? Ok, I will. GAP!

1)  You don’t have a GAP, Rockford. You couldn’t afford to keep a GAP in your region!  Ahahahahhahahahhaha. (HOT DEAL AT TARGET AND WAL-MART!) That is #FUBAB! (#FuckedUpBeyondBelief, ahahahaha. Rockford Assholes git yer JC PENNY panties on!)

2)  Rockford, let’s think about this deeper. You couldn’t even afford to keep a GAP open in a carpeted mall. A CARPETED MALL CALLED CHERRYVALE on the wealthiest, whitest side of the city– the east side. Ahahahahaha, #WTF?! #ELOHEL! (#WhatTheFuck?! #LOL!)

Ok, so. I can’t wait to talk to you again, Rockford. You’re pretty, but I got shit to do in Texas today.

Bye,

God