Sexy Bald Eagle Shot On School Bus

13 Nov, 2012

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From Left to Right: Leslie The Mosquito, Sally The Squirrel, Jenny The Bald Eagle, Erin The Seahorse pose during better days. Jenny The Bald Eagle was attacked on a school bus by a homosexual monster buck hunter in a pink sweatshirt with a bazooka water gun. : (

Rockford, IL – “It was so Cray Cray,” recalls Sally the Squirrel about the day when her friend, Jenny the Balding Eagle, was shot and soaked almost to death while they were on their school bus last month.

She says that her visions and recollections of that day are now dominated by senses of confusion and fear. Sally received a water balloon bullet in her little paw and Jenny was shot in the wing.

“Everyone was screaming and howling,” Sally told us by phone. “First we thought this was a sick joke, when he [the squirt gunman dressed up as a homosexual monster buck hunter to attract fellow gay bucks] entered the bus and asked, “Where’s Jenny The Bald Eagle, who is Jenny?”  We didn’t know what to say because for one, he had a lisp, and two, she is the only eagle on this bus full of squirrels, coyotes, leopards and lions!  How dumb can you be?”

“The moment she said, “I’m Jenny.” he opened fire and with one water balloon bullet she was down,” Sally told RKFD News. “It was a very terrifying and scary when he opened fire because none of us carry goggles or swim suits on us. All I could see was his pink sweater and a bazooka squirt gun.”

“Jenny went down, but he was still there firing bazooka balloons loaded with water and laughing at us.  I got a water bullet stuck around my paw and was wet for days. Everyone was screaming. Coyotes started howling. One of the Leopards tried to attack the squirt gunman leaping from their seats–like Leopards often do as jokes but this was for real now.  The gunman threw a hatchet at him and then there was leopard blood everywhere! That’s when we knew something wasn’t right.”

Showing incredible courage, the bus driver drove the injured animals to a hospital. Another friend of Sally’s, Jimmy the Leopard, was also shot with water balloons, soaked, and injured by a hatchet.

Sally remembers pleading to see her father Noah on that terrible journey before she fainted. She does not recall what happened after that. The Squirrel is now back home in her warm nest where she is recovering from her soaking hand injury.

Jenny the Balding Eagle is now being treated at a hospital in the Beloit.  She was widely known as a campaigner for eagles and hawks’ education in and around Dixon IL and St. Paul The Great, MN. In early 2009 she wrote an anonymous diary for Bald Eagle Weekly about the life and death of a dying breed for her fellow peers who had been banned from attending schools in the early days of America.

Her father, a 4th generation Bald Eagle , believes that education is the only route for Jenny and her fellow bald eagles. “Education is our hidden power and we must make an effort to educate our balding girl eagles even more than the boys,” he says.

Sally had one last message to her friend:

“Jenny, please be happy,” Sally pleads. “Have an ultra-fast recovery. I’d like to see you healthy again. So, beak up and stay strong you silly eagle! Ok? Come back so we can go to school together in the spring or fall.”