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Patty the Goose is Alive!
Rockford, IL — Patty the Goose came back to life today. RKFDnews originally reported earlier this week that Patty had been inadvertently starved to death by City Council. Rockford Memorial Geese Mercy flew Patty into Beloit, Wisconsin, for an official
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Post-Haste Grump-Core Knew-Metal Drummer Takes Control of Rockford Music Scene
Ricky Klan performed a ritual that hasn’t been seen since the 90’s to gain control over the entire Rockford music scene. The final blood sacrifice was completed early in the afternoon on September 17th. We do not have complete details
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Rockford Homeless Man Identifies As Goose- You’ll Never Guess Why!
Rockford has been very concerned with where to poop and who to poop with recently. A problem that used to be so simple… You got giblets- poop over there. You got a dangler- poop over here. I went out for
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#Trickford Escort Discount!
Some local businesses are celebrating the City of Rockford’s “Trickford” marketing campaign differently than intended. The region’s most reputable escort services are pimping their finest services for 50% off of their regular prices throughout the rest of the year. Pimps
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$10 Black Metal Rockford Tee
Limited availability. Small through X-Large are: $10 each. XX-Large and XXX-Large: $13 each. Shipping and handling fee applied during checkout: $3.50 First orders ships November 6th, 2015. Just in time for the holidays. lol = #laughsoutlouds. Click here to buy, learn
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Free PDF Download of our Debut Book, “Believe”
“Believe“, by the RkfdNews staff, is our nationally published debut book. It was released on December 1st, 2014. Stories about Rockford and its proud American community deserve to be virally shared (for free) to help celebrate our great nation’s upcoming birthday! In
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